It’s Friday June 7th 2013. I’m cruising down the
A453 at 5.30am. I pull off the A50 and turn into Sawley Marina. The Auctioneer
appears from his boat at the crack of dawn. Destination is Scarborough in North
Yorkshire; or as the locals call it ‘Scarbados.’ We’re off to watch Day 3 of
the LVCC match between Yorkshire and Nottinghamshire. The Auctioneer is a
staunch supporter of the Tykes.
We’re parked up in the town’s North Bay at just gone 8am.
Breakfast is served at a beachside cafe, as we look out into North Sea at the
boats bobbing and the sun shining. We head down to the harbour in the South
Bay. The Auctioneer is fagged out after a trek up to Scarborough Castle.
It’s £15 on the gate at one of the all-time-great provincial
grounds. Seagulls perch on the rooftops of nearby bed and breakfasts, ready to
swoop down for any unwanted food. We sink a couple of pints in a back street
boozer at lunchtime. Sticky gets sunscreen stuck in his eye and is crying for
most of the day.
It’s Saturday morning. Five Live are discussing the Ashes
and the shift of balance towards the Australians. The subject of ‘walking’
after hitting a ball crops up again. Former Aussie fast bowler Merv Hughes is
quoted as saying: “You never walk, unless you run out of petrol."
I tune into Radio 2 for Murphy Palmer, the budgie. I leave
him moonstomping to ‘House of Fun’ by Madness. Finley the rabbit has already
predicted a 0-2 away win for the Briggers. He was impressed with a bedtime
story from me last season, when I told him how they thumped Pontefract 3-0.
I flick the radio to Five Live. Sticky’s favourite
commentator, John Murray, is reporting from Craven Cottage. He’s saying that
Arsene Wenger has sprung a surprise by throwing 16 year old German born
midfielder Gedion Zelalem, onto the bench. He was spotted playing in the USA
for Olney Rovers.
The journey is plain sailing. We come off the M18 at
Junction 3 and onto the Bawtry Road, passing the impressive Doncaster
Racecourse. A bare-chested skinhead, swigging a can of Heineken, walks by. He’s
covered from head to toe in tattoos.
The bacon on my brie melt is burnt to a cinder. I plonk
myself on a bench outside. The Joop half price after shave from East Midlands
Airport, that I’ve squirted on, not only attracts the ladies but also wasps.
After several unsuccessful swishes with the latest copy of the Doncaster Gazette,
I give up the ghost and sit back inside.
A couple of those pointless Sausage dogs start a pathetic
yapping at my feet while they wait for their owners to come back from the
toilet. If they don’t belt up soon I’ll be launching them down the A638 with my
Adidas Samba’s. My misery is complete
with a punter on an adjacent table constantly rustling a jumbo sized crisp
packet whilst noisily munching his way through his snack. He’s the sort of a
guy you may have the misfortune to sit next to at the cinema.
An irritated and grumpy Groundhopper makes the short trip down the road to the old pit village of Rossington. The village has a population of just under 15,000. The pit was sunk between 1912 and 1915. It ceased production in 2007.
An irritated and grumpy Groundhopper makes the short trip down the road to the old pit village of Rossington. The village has a population of just under 15,000. The pit was sunk between 1912 and 1915. It ceased production in 2007.
Sat Nav has had a wobble, but I spot a cricket match in
progress. A car load of Teddy boys roll up. I ask a guy who looks like Alvin
Stardust if he knows where the ground is. We eventually stumble on Oxford
Street – the one in Rossington, not London.
It’s £4 on the gate and £1.50 for a well produced programme.
The ground is neat, tidy and blue-painted. I take a position on the far side
next to the Gerry Murden Stand. The pitch is like a bowling green.
I caught both these teams last season and was suitably
impressed. The visitors begin the game strongly, carving out chances from the
off. They take the lead on 8 minutes. An initial shot is blocked but Podmore
tucks away the rebound.
The Briggers should be out of sight by now but are wasteful
in front of goal. The Blues equalise against the run of play on 36 minutes
through a Ben Clark strike. I’m in the tea bar getting a brew, just minutes
before half time, when there’s a huge cheer. I pop my head out of the door to
see big centre forward Brandon Fallon celebrating a goal. How the hell are the
Briggers 2-1 down?
Ooh, I recognise that tune blasting out of the speakers,
it’s Duck Sauce’s ‘Barbara Streisand.’ I remember throwing some shapes to that
one in Abersoch 2011. I have a chat with Ruby and Millie, two Boxers, who are a
bit miffed to have chosen the wrong end where the goals have gone in. Unlucky
lads.
The second half is scrappy, has no pattern and has minimal
chances. A scruffy goal on 65 minutes levels the game for the Briggers. They
finish the game stronger. Fluidity and flowing football is restored. Man of the
match Adam Podmore goes down in the area, having turned his marker. The penalty
is dispatched with ease.
The Briggers deserve their victory. They have a good spine
to the team and play some great football. Hopefully I can catch them again
later in the season.
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