Sunday, December 8, 2024

Chesterfield 3-0 Tranmere Rovers


The customers at the newsagent's (where I work) in the Nottinghamshire town of Arnold - the artist formerly known as 'Tory Arnold' are having a fit of pique on Tuesday morning. There's no Christmas cheer on Front Street with the news spreading like wildfire in Birds Bakery that What's on TV and TV Choice magazines have both risen in price by three pence to 82p and 85p respectively. Folk whinge and moan more than Pep Guardiola after another Premier League defeat. It's poor old Sticky that gets it in the earhole - anyone would think I printed the flipping publication. It was the same when the Daily Mail went up to £1.10 - on that occasion I was quite happy to field complaints, from the Blue Army entourage, as they chuntered on exiting the shop.


The Winter Fuel Allowance is the biggest bone of contention for the pensioners that come in the shop - it was a policy Boris (as the Tory voters like to call him) always liked to boast about to keep the electorate sweet, following the buffoon's and his mates' crass behaviour during COVID. The Labour Party announced they were to abolish the payment, unless you were on pension credits or means-tested benefits. I had an elderly lady kicking off about this the other day. She complained that her and hubby didn't qualify for the payment, so couldn't afford to have the heating on much, and that they would have to tighten their belts when food shopping with the energy price increase imminent. She followed this up with "can I have 60 John Player Red Superkings and a bottle of Smirnoff please love."

It's Thursday evening and I'm locking up after another busy day at the shop. The street is deserted and the temperatures are plummeting as I scurry across the market place toward High Street. I catch the 58 bus outside Keith Hall Hair. It begins to rain cats 'n dogs as I jump off on Parliament Street. By the time I'm sitting down in the cosy Barley Twist on Carrington Street, I'm like a drowned rat and smell like a wet dog.


I dry out for around an hour whilst enjoying a couple of craft ales from Verdant in Cornwall and Shiny Brewery, who are based in Little Eaton, just outside Derby. Shiny are an under the radar brewery who very rarely brew a bad 'un. Their taproom is well worth a visit too.

I've taken a punt on beating Storm Darragh, which is on its way from Ireland. East Midlands Railways, who are spoken in the same breath as Carlton Tesco and artificial football pitches, do their best to muck up catching a connecting train from Grantham to York. Luckily that's a few minutes late too.


I'm as snug as a bug in a rug on the LNER high speed train, with my head buried into the latest publication by the razor-sharp broadcaster Martin Kelner. His book, called Wrestling in Honey, takes a nostalgic look at sports on TV from back in the day such as: Snooker, Rugby League and Darts.

My brother, Mark, picks me up from York station and drives me back to his house in the village of Upper Poppleton where the Belgian-born Leeds United defender Pascal Struijk used to live. We enjoy a few glasses of wine and prawn linguine as we catch up with one another before retiring to bed.


I love a few days up in York and always enjoy a break away from my natural surroundings. After a hearty breakfast we jump in the car and head up to the village of Aldborough. We wander past St Andrew's Church where in 1998 the Yorkshire and England cricketer David 'Bluey' Bairstow was laid to rest, having taken his own life. Bairstow suffered from depression, and it was led to believe he had financial troubles too. It's an extremely sad story, as he would have been incredibly proud of the cricketing career his son Jonny went on to have for club and country.

We're just a short drive away from Boroughbridge. We pull up in the car park of the Tap on the Tutt, which until 2023 was known as the Three Horseshoes. It's my 189th two star or three star CAMRA Heritage Pub. We're lucky that this watering hole is still in existence as it was sold off by its long-time family owners in 2003 and narrowly escaped being converted into a Chinese restaurant. The friendly barman pours a perfect pint of Jorvik Blonde from Rudgate Brewery.

We take a stroll around the quaint town centre which lay on the A1 London to Edinburgh road until a by-pass was built. Lunch is spent at an independent bakery. We peck away at our sandwich adjacent to a mightily impressive War Memorial.

A couple of pubs are visited on the outskirts of York city centre at teatime as folk finish up for the weekend. The first is another CAMRA HP called The Fox, which is owned by Ossett Brewery. Just around the corner is Volunteer Arms, which is a Good Beer Guide Entry in the 2024 edition.


The TV on offer for Friday evening is pretty crap to be honest. I barely raise a smile at Have I Got News For You or The Last Leg. Both shows are washed up and played out. Thank the Lord for Gogglebox and its real people. The 1996 Top of the Pops Christmas Special hosted by the Spice Girls and Take That, screened on BBC 4, was pretty much the death knell of the show.

Football fixtures are falling victim to the weather, and none are bigger than the Merseyside derby. After a couple of slices of homemade sourdough bread, smothered in butter and Marmite, my brother kindly drops me off at York station.


The original plan was to travel to the old coal-mining village of Goldthorpe, close to Rotherham, to tick off a chippy and take in Dearne and District versus Wakefield in Northern Counties East Division One. Having studied the weather map this would be a foolish decision to make as I can't afford to get stranded as I'm opening the shop at 4am on Sunday.

The plan is to stick to the main line. I bagged a ticket for Chesterfield v Tranmere Rovers yesterday. It was quite a painful customer experience on the phone to their ticket office, but we got there in the end. I've got an FA Trophy tie between Alfreton Town and Spennymoor Town in the back pocket should the football Gods go against me.


There are loads of Leeds fans milling around at the station, fretting that they are going to miss the early kick off at Elland Road versus Derby County. Overhead cables have been damaged on the east coast line. I have to rely on X-Country and EMR - my heart is already filled with disappointment. We arrive at Sheffield 45 minutes late, but somehow pull in at Chesterfield by 1pm. I pat myself on the back as my cunning plan and change of strategy is going well at this point.

It's pissing down with rain. It hits my face so hard that it's like someone is rubbing coarse sandpaper on my skin. 25 minutes later a soaked-to-the-skin Sticky arrives at the SMH Group Stadium. An overzealous steward has asked to look through my rucksack. I warn him that there are smelly pants and stinky socks in there; he's unperturbed. My brother has wrapped some Christmas presents, one of them is quite heavy - hopefully the latest copy of the 2025 CAMRA Guide. The nincompoop of a steward says he would like me to open it. "Not until Christmas Day, you Herbert" I reply. It's 1.30 pm and I'm the first supporter in the ground.


The wind is blowing across the pitch driving the rain into the East Stand. I've got six layers on, including thermals, but can still feel the cold. I'm cheered up somewhat by the DJ set. He plays: a couple of Jungle and Pet Shop Boys tracks. The teams emerge from the tunnel to Mr Blue Sky .. lol.

It's a one-sided contest in the first half, with Nigel Adkins' lowly, cash-strapped Tranmere Rovers spending most of it on the back foot. They are lucky to be only two goals down at half-time to brilliantly-worked goals. The DJ ups his set at the break with 'Heavyweight Champion of the World' by Sheffield-based band Reverend and the Makers.


Had it been a boxing match the referee would have stopped the game on the hour. Chesterfield are magnificent with their pace troubling the visitors down both sides. Manager Paul Cook has the luxury of saving some tired legs for another day. As for Tranmere, well the best they can hope for is the much-talked about takeover by U.S hip hop star A$AP Rocky.

Attendance: 7,923

Man of the Match: Armando Dobra

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