Lincoln City 0-2 Gillingham

It's Wednesday 22nd July 2009. I work part-time as Head of Recruitment at Notts County FC Academy. I'm sat at my desk, my full-time job role is at Ergo Computing, on Mere Way, Ruddington. I'm having the usual banter, on our pod, with my colleagues Phil, Emma and 'Trav' when my phone bleeps. It's my 14-year-old lad, Jack. He's texting live and exclusive from his English lesson at South Wolds Comp, in Keyworth. "Dad, are you sitting down? Sven-Goran Eriksson has been appointed as 'Director of Football' at Notts County. It's commonly known as a 'dropped my bacon sandwich moment.' Unless he's pranking me.

I'm reminded of this monumental part of the Magpies' history this week when a podcast from the brilliant Five Live series 'Sport's Strangest Crimes' was released. It's called 'The Trillion Dollar Conman' and is narrated by the  presenter Alice Levine, who is from Beeston, in Nottingham. Give it a listen. It's enthralling and fast-paced.

I remember being phoned by the Academy Manager, Mick Leonard, that day, and told to report to Meadow Lane for a meeting at 7 p.m. in the 1862 suite. It was all doom and gloom. Folk in that meeting knew their time was up (me included) if this was a genuine acquisition. It got stranger and stranger as the days passed by. Kasper Schmeichel was signed from Manchester City and former Spurs and Arsenal defender Sol Campbell arrived from Portsmouth on a five-year deal.

Of course it was an elaborate con, masterminded by a fraudster called Russell King - who had previous. He was finally jailed for six years in April 2019. One of the oldest football clubs in the world nearly went to the wall and First London Bank was wound up in the courts.

I'm still stewing about the late postponement of the Nottingham Forest game at AFC Bournemouth last Friday. Bungling officials have tried to deflect the blame onto the EFL. I fire off a couple of rude and curt tweets to both parties, calling them out. The game has been rearranged for Tuesday May 3rd at 7 p.m. I might stay down the south coast for a few days and tick off the Rose Bowl and Hove, as both have County Championship fixtures.

It's Tuesday tea-time and I'm holed up in the 'World Renowned Trent Bridge Inn' with 'Our Joe' and 'The Keyworth Georgie Best.' 'Tom Siswick Scores Goals' is also with us. He is the greatest striker I've clapped eyes on that hasn't played Step 3 football or above. An oversight by the Keyworth United senior set-up meant he wasn't on their radar until he was 22-years-old (I tipped 'em off). He's scored 13 goals in 16 outings but is out injured for the rest of the season.

I grab some tuffies (Rowntree Fruit Pastilles) from the Co-op on Bridgford Road, opposite Nottinghamshire County Cricket Club. I make the short trip over Trent Bridge and onto Meadow Lane. Promotion-chasing Conference National teams Notts County and F.C. Halifax Town are locking horns this evening.

I take my pew in the Derek Pavis Stand. The Shaymen have brought around 400 fans. It's an incident-packed first 45 minutes. Halifax are razor sharp and pour forward. They take the lead after a faux pas by 20-year-old Czech 'keeper Vitezslav Jaros, who is on-loan from Liverpool. 

The game changes in the blink of an eye. Two silly yellow cards see Halifax reduced to ten men with the sending off of the influential Jack Senior. The Pies take advantage, playing some champagne football in the process. Eli Sam equalises before half-time.

Halifax are a tough nut to crack in the second half thanks to some stoic defending. It will feel like a win for them after playing for 55 minutes with ten men. County will look at it as a missed opportunity and two points dropped.

Ms Moon is away in Murcia, Spain, this week, working. I had a phone call from Virgin Media on Wednesday asking when it would be a good time to come round to fix the TV. I said to them that it wasn't broken, I've just not switched it on .. lol. I do watch Atletico Madrid v Manchester Utd in the Champions League. 19- year-old Swede, Anthony Elanga, scores a vital goal as United share the spoils. It's great to see another young 'un roll off the Old Trafford conveyor belt of endless youth. 

It's Thursday tea-time and I'm already catching my fifth bus of the day into Nottingham city centre. Tony Mac and I sink a few strong craft ales at Junkyard, our favourite bar in town. It's a short stay, as we have more pressing matters. In the first time in over 40 years I'll be paying-in to a gig at The Bodega on Pelham Street. It's a gem of a venue and has craft ales on too. I bump into Ergo Computing legends Johnny Haslam and Scott Smith. The reason we are all here is to see a band called The Benefits who hail from Middlesbrough. They call themselves an 'issues-based collective from the North-East.'

It's a jaw-dropping, powerful shift that frontman Kingsley Hall puts in. He gets emotional at the drop of a hat. It's not for the faint-hearted or right of centre. But I bloody love it. His performance is on my mind as I wrestle with my sleep. I can't wait to see them again.

Tony Mac and I meet at Friday Club HQ, a place called YOLK in Hockley. We have breakfast before strolling up to the Victoria Bus Station. Coops, an old friend from the Keyworth Tavern, is joining us on an all-dayer (cultural tour) in the Derbyshire town of Ilkeston. We've secured a Zig Zag Trent Barton day ticket for £15 which covers the three of us.

I used to love to watch football at Ilson's New Manor Ground until they went down the 3G route. Yes, yes, I get the commercial gain, blah blah blah  ... but Sticky doesn't 3G/4G, unless it's by accident. The Burnt Pig is the first pub on the agenda. There's already a crowd stretching into double figures when we enter the bar at 11.30 a.m. There's a roaring fire and a cosy backroom. Quite honestly, we all agree that we could stay here and while away the afternoon.

The pub crawl continues. The Crafty One, on South Street, is a crowd favourite and has beer to die for. We hop on and off the bus as Sawley Junction, Crown Inn and The Star (in Beeston) are ticked off. Tony Mac and I polish off a sumptuous cheese board. We bump into Keyworth United legend and Pies fan Malcolm Healey MBE in The Crown. He is a lovely bloke, who gave his all for KUFC and charitable organisations. The night is curtailed in town. Well, Five Guys actually, for Sticky P.

I'm on Platform 1B, bright and breezy, on Saturday morning, at the train station. A jam-packed EMR 11.37 departs on time: destination is Lincoln. The Imps are in the mire after a poor run of form. Sticky 'the Jonah' is hardly going to help matters.

 
I peg it up the High Street towards Lincoln Cathedral. She shines like a beacon in glorious sunshine. The bastard that is Steep Hill has to be negotiated. I surprise myself and soon zip up it. I enjoy a couple of session craft ales at Beer Head Z on Eastgate.

I call by Greggs to grab a sausage roll and a caramel custard doughnut. I hoover them up as I amble down the aptly named Scorer Street, birthplace to ex Nottingham Forest and 'Dirty Leeds' striker Lee Chapman, who scored over 200 goals.

The Lincoln DJ plays a set only bettered by our man at Carlton Town. Pick of the bunch is 'Where's Me Jumper?' by The Sultans of Ping FC, a band from Cork, in Ireland. We used to dance to that at beer-fuelled nights in Keyworth.

The first half is a dull as dishwater. Gillingham like to get it forward early. They are well marshalled and orchestrated by new manager Neil Harris. The lad Lincoln have on-loan from Arsenal does well again. It's also good to see the return of Tom Hopper from a long-term injury.

The Gills deservedly win with goals from ex-Imp Vadine Oliver and Ben Thompson. I walk past a steward on the way out. "Surely Appleton has to go now?" he shouts out. "Not on your Nelly mate" I reply. "He's the best Manager, Coach and Mentor we've had since Graham Taylor."

Attendance: 8208

Man of the Match: Lincoln DJ