Sunday, October 16, 2022

Carlton Town 2-4 Sheffield FC


There was no football last weekend for Sticky Palms. I had a long standing engagement with friends in the Staffordshire town of Leek. I'm unsure whether Leek Town were at home, but it was never under consideration due to it being a 3G playing surface - cough  ... I don't do 3G. Ms Moon didn't feel up to travelling. She had to finalise arrangements with family for her mother's funeral, this coming Friday.

It was a lovely weekend away. We took a boat trip on Rudyard Lake (who the author Rudyard Kipling was named after) and climbed 400 metres up Hen Cloud, a prominent rocky ridge, with sweeping views of the countryside. Apparently, on a sunny day you can see as far as Liverpool Cathedral - not with my 'mince pies' you can't. I couldn't even see local legend, Stanley Victor Collymore, 'walking his dog.'


We finished the weekend off with Sunday lunch at the glorious Spirits Vaults, in the village of Melbourne, where the travel agent Thomas Cook was born. It was a proper treat for me as they had 12x craft ales on. I supped a couple of Shiny Brewery's finest; they're based in Little Eaton, just outside D***y.

It's Monday evening, with sun-kissed skies in hilly Carlton. I make the long trek down Carlton Road and over the water into the leafy suburb of West Bridgford, where I have, over the years, had mixed fortunes. I've arranged to meet 'Our Joe' and ex work son Alex in a cocktail bar (not my bag obvs) called The Botanist. My old boss and managing director also rock up prior to the game between Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa. I only have a pint and a half as I like to view the game with a sober mind.


I take my seat in the Lower Brian Clough Stand. The Villa fans are spitting distance away (not that any of that will be going off). NFFC manager Steve Cooper is still proper under the cosh. The Greek owners are making a dog's dinner of it; particularly Maranakis junior, who some say is running the show at aged 23 years old.

It's a solid enough performance from the Tricky Trees, with Yates and Freuler impressing in the middle of the park. Villa flatter to deceive with their flicks and tricks that have no end product. Philippe Coutinho flits in and out of the game, looking a pale shadow of his former self. The Brazilian is hooked just after the hour. The second half is turgid and boring. 1-1 doesn't suit either team. The visitors are booed off by their own fans.


The most entertaining part of the game was at half time, when Nottinghamshire cricketer, Luke Fletcher, who was sat next to me, paraded the County Championship 2nd Division trophy around the ground. He's my favourite Notts cricketer and such a funny bloke. I can't wait for his benefit season in 2023.

I'm pegging it again on Tuesday evening, this time in the opposite direction. Carlton Town are playing Grantham Town. I don't have to part with any cash at the turnstile as I've invested in a season ticket this season. I join Jitz Jani, a die hard Red and the most feared man on social media, particularly if he gets stuck into you on Twitter. I decide to swerve mentioning Notts' wicket keeper Tom Moores, as he'll go off on one.


Grantham with a forward line of Nathan Tyson, Lee Shaw and Kieran Hayes are running the Millers ragged. The game has already gone by 70 minutes. Jitz introduces me to a dead interesting guy called Dan Thorpe. The Club is full of like-minded people, who want to volunteer, make a difference and contribute towards the supporters experience. Dan is a history teacher at an inner city Nottingham school. He shares his passion on this subject with me. I'm fascinated. He also shows me a bookmark on his phone from 2013. It's some stupid blog called The Groundhopper. 

My face lights up and I feel as proud as punch that he's read this waffle for all those years.Dan contributes to a new-look programme that is edited by Joe Standen. I promise to buy one at the weekend as they have sold out tonight. Dan is also doing a Northern Soul DJ set during the Cleethorpes game in a few weeks time. I say I'll swing by as I'm watching 'The Keyworth Georgie Best' at Burton Road Jubilee Park when his team take on Greyfriars in an early kick off.


It's Wednesday afternoon and guess what? I'm walking back to West Bridgford again. Trent Bridge Cricket Ground is hosting the Nottingham Robin Hood Beer and Cider Festival. I'm not a fan of the venue for the festival. The concourses are narrow and everything is shoe-horned in. I have a good laugh with a few Carlton Town fans I bump into and end up supping Bang the Elephant and Lenton Lane brews in the pavilion with one of my besties, Coops.

I'm in a particularly vile mood on Thursday morning: it's two-fold. I have to walk past a road 30 yards from our crib that won £1,000 on yesterday's People's Postcode Lottery, whilst on the same trip a visit is required to the worst supermarket in British history: Carlton Tesco. 


I'm like a coiled spring as I bolt through the shop front doors. I usually have to bollock someone in the store for one thing or another. Most of the staff are as miserable as sin and bloody unhelpful too. I once boycotted the store for two weeks having been subjected to 7 Days by Craig David on Radio Tesco during a particularly long, painful queue at the tills. It was the 12" version too. I end up storming out the shop when I find out for the umpteenth time that there's no sliced haslet in the meat section. Robin Tuxford butchers in Netherfield saves the day.

It's Friday and it has been an awfully long week for Sue. We're laying her mum, Valerie. to rest today at St John the Baptist Church, in Colwick. I'm so proud of her as she addresses the mourners with some beautiful memories of growing up with her mum. It takes a lot of courage and guts to do this when the grief is still so raw. The burial takes place at Tithe Green, just outside the old mining village of Calverton.


An extraordinary event happens at the wake that's being held at the Railway Inn, in Lowdham. Someone tries to pull Ms Moon. I'm nursing a pint of real ale and talking to Sue when some Hillbilly emerges from the bar and approaches the good lady. He asks if she's taken as his mate wants to take her out. He gets the death stare from Sticky Palms, about turns and scuttles back from where he came, to deliver the bad news to his scaredy-cat mate.

It's Saturday lunchtime. I wish I'd washed the pots rather than watch a dull as dishwater first half between Leicester City and Crystal Palace. I pull the French window door to and head down to Stoke Lane for my Saturday afternoon football fix.


Sheffield FC, the oldest club in the world, are today's visitors. I pay £2 for a programme that's mightily impressive. The DJ set is once again immense. 'Smalltown Boy' by Bronski Beat echoes around the ground as I do a customary lap of the stadium.

Former Nottingham Forest forward John O'Hare is today's guest speaker. Head of Marketing, Gary 'Boatsy' Clarke works tirelessly hard to secure the services of ex pro footballers. O'Hare famously won NFFC a penalty in a League Cup final replay, back in 1978, versus Liverpool at Old Trafford. It appeared that the offence happened a yard or so outside the penalty area. O'Hare recalls, 25 years later, that he arrived at Anfield on a scouting mission for Martin O'Neill, the then Leicester City manager. Having asked where he could park his car, he was told by the gateman "f**k off O'Hare, you're not welcome in Liverpool." ... LOL


The Millers look to have dusted themselves down from Tuesday's loss. Assisted by a stiff breeze they race into a two goal lead. It could be said that the visiting 'keeper is a lucky lad not to see Red after pole-axing O'Connor and conceding a penalty. He's judged to have tried to win the ball fairly. It's a decision that is up for debate in the clubhouse at half-time. Sheffield FC have pulled a goal back too, with a thumping volley from range.

I do a little jig of delight when I see that the Red Imps are 1-0 up at League leaders Ipswich Town. Notts County are 2-1 down to Step 3 club Coalville Town in the FA Cup. Two Nottingham lads, Luke Shaw and Tim Berridge are in Coalville's starting line-up.


Carlton aren't at the races in the second half. The demise and fallout is a bitter pill to swallow, as I watch from the clubhouse steps, accompanied by Dan, Nigel and Joe. I'd question the personality of a few of the players, who seem more interested in the unsavoury side of the game, rather than rolling up their sleeves and trying to win the battle. It finishes 4-2 in the end as the visitors are roared onto victory by their vociferous following.

The referee has had a 'Weston' (Super-Mare). He's never gained control and has faffed around for most of the afternoon, taking an age to sort 'handbags' out (you can't say that anymore can you?) He's dished out more cards than Postman Pat. 

Men and Women of the match - all the great volunteers at Carlton Town FC

Attendance: 148

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