Irony reared its ugly head last weekend. I was washing 'Sally Gunnell' and Mrs P was cutting back some bushes with the hedge cutters. I heard the sickening noise of metal on bone and winced at the seeping wound that she had inflicted on her ring finger: “You will be alright to do the ironing still won’t you love?” was the best I could come up with.
It was convenient of the good lady to slice her finger open at this time of day as “The Skipper” had a party at the Baltimore Diner, just round the corner from the Queen’s Medical Centre. Talk about killing two birds with one stone!
As you know Sticky spent six hours in A&E a few weeks ago, with a similar injury. Now Mrs P is an attractive lady (I have to say that she reads the blog), she flutters her eyelids at them dozy junior doctors, and is in and out in less than three hours. I pay the price for having an ugly mug and ears that stick out like West Brom’s manager, Tony Mowbray.
The Nuclear Scientist picks me up today, he’s got the sat nav on, I tell him to turn it off, I’ve been to Ilson more times than he’s had hot dinners. Half an hour later we’ve (I’ve) took a wrong turning and are being treated to the delights of Cotmanhay; it’s a real eye opener and we’ll leave it at that. NS is not happy!
Ilkeston, as mentioned in previous blogs, has a population of 38,000. It’s most famous son is the thespian actor Robert Lindsay. So sad is my life now, I find myself on Friday night’s curled up on the sofa with Mrs P watching repeats of My Family and occasionally laughing (?) (I’ll do anything to get a game of footie in on a Saturday)
Good news for people from Ilkeston with sleeping disorders, local lad William Roache (Ken Barlow) has just published his autobiography: Soul on the Street (I bet it took him months to think of that title) I read a couple of paragraphs on the net and fell asleep for a full 12 hours in my computer chair. I guarantee that half of Ilkeston will overlay on Monday morning, if Soul on the Street is their bedtime read.
Nigel Jemson’s Ilkeston have won two on the spin and have a few back from injury. Buxton are struggling for form at the Silverlands but are unbeaten on their travels. We dash into the bar for a swift pint of Greene King IPA. There’s a minute’s silence for club stalwart and the Chairman’s brother Barry Millership who recently passed away.
I’m raving to NS about Buxton 6 jacket Anton Foster, the boy has everything I look for in a footballer. He has an immediate impact on this game, he wins a ball he has no right to and shrugs off two challenges and plays an exquisite pass down the left flank, a cross is clipped in, and met on the forehead of on-loan Owl, Jason Bradley. 1-0 Buxton. The goal and movement are sheer class.
Foster is running the show, he can make the ball walk and talk, his feet are quicksilver, and he dances on the ball. He’s mugging Walker and Holmes in the midfield. He threads a ball through to Bucks winger Jordan Hall who smacks his shot against the upright.
It’s a compelling spell of attractive attacking football. Big Jason Bradley is only 18 but he’s way too good for the home defence, he is built like a Sherman tank.
Pettinger saves a Reed header from a Ridley corner and Towey has a shot cleared off the line. It’s one-way traffic. Ilkeston equalise with their first serious attack of the half. Lee Featherstone delivering a fine cross from the left and central defender Nathan Winder planting a firm header over keeper Hartley. It’s unjust and unfair and 1-1.
He even bored Mike Baldwin to death!!
We try and get a cup of tea at the break but the queue is enormous. The bloke on the public address system plays the Scissor Sisters; I’d expect a full scale riot if anybody put these freaks on a jukebox on a night out in Ilson!!
I’m scratching my head wondering how Ilson performed a smash and grab at high fliers Gateshead Utd last week. They play with more fluency after the break, their striker Adam Muller is seeing more of the ball. Eastwood Town have recently bid £10,000 for his services. He has performed of late like a man who is unsettled. Buxton bounce back into the lead on 58 minutes through Bradley again, following a scramble after a corner.
After 75 minutes we finally get a cup of tea and a tray of home-cooked chips, they are gorgeous. Ilson keeper Paul Pettinger had a spell at Sincil Bank and looking at his frame, I’m surprised he wasn’t in the chip queue too!!
Ilkeston have their chances and edge the second half: Muller, Featherstone and Ross all go close. The game is over Buxton have been excellent.
My main man Anton is storming off to the changing rooms, he looks distressed and is not shaking hands. The Buxton assistant manager beckons him back onto the pitch, and throws an arm round his shoulder, and calms him down.
The sponsors today are Greene King Brewery; they nominate Ilson forward, Neil Ross as man of the match. I can only deduce from this decision they must have all downed a gallon of IPA and picked his name out of a hat: Ross is awful. Buxton skipper Terry Bowker has him in his pocket.
Ilkeston Town 1 Winder Buxton FC 2 Bradley 2
Man of the Match: Anton Foster (Different Gravy)