Sunday, February 25, 2024

Mansfield Town 5-1 Salford City


It's Wednesday morning and I'm sitting in the front seat of a Citroen C1. Ms Moon is driving her daughter's car over Carlton Hill towards the suburb of Lady Bay - it's a well-to-do place known for cafes, takeaways and a couple of good watering holes. I clocked a breakfast place there last summer, whilst watching Notts 2nd XI playing cricket. It's on Trent Boulevard and called Bread and Lard Island.

Capital FM is playing some God damn awful tune, as we cross over a swollen River Trent, via Lady Bay Bridge. Remember folks, this is a 'radio station' that only ever spins the same six records every day. I still have nightmares, from years ago, when my two lads Jack and Joe were in the car, about a record they flogged to death by Swedish House Mafia called 'Don't You Worry Child' - it's absolute poppycock readers.


We are quickly seated on entry into the cafe. The eatery is stacked out with folk clogging up sought-after table space, as they tap away on laptops, whilst taking small sips of Espresso coffee, as they rob (take advantage of) the free wi-fi that's available. I gaze at a menu, chalked up on a blackboard, that hangs on the wall. I rub my eyes in disbelief that there's no full fry up on offer. You're quids in if the vegetarian option is your fancy. Two bacon and egg ciabattas, a latte and an Americano comes in at £30. The folk who run it are friendly people and the service is first-class, but I think I'll stick to greasy spoons in Sneinton and the city centre in future.

I was down Carlton Town's El Stadio Stoke, the previous evening, with Faggsy. Thanks to a massive effort from the amazing, dedicated supporters group, and with some advice from the ground staff at Trent Bridge Cricket Ground, the game manages to survive a pitch inspection.


'DJ Murph' is playing 'Echo Beach' by Canadian rock band Martha and the Muffins. It's a song that reached the number ten position in the pop charts back in 1979. Martha Ladly, from the group, later became a keyboardist for Scottish cult post-punk band The Associates, playing on their second album 'Sulk.

'The Millers are champing at the bit after a 17 day break. They steam roll a lethargic and unfit Bridlington Town on a pudding of a pitch. There's a lovely moment in the second half when David Adegbola, who has only been on the pitch for less than 30 seconds, skips past the full back before clipping in a cross that Alex Hardwick converts at the back stick. Local photographer, Steve McKeown, captures the celebration perfectly.


I'm up and at 'em on Thursday morning. I've four days off work to look forward to after clocking up 42 hours at the shop since Saturday. 'Crazy Steve' meets me at 7.45 am at our usual rendezvous point, Laguna Tandoori curry house, just off Maid Marian Way. Fifteen minutes later we are heading towards the City of London with Little Al and Cotgrave Trev.

We catch an overground train at Canons Park, disembarking close to Kensal Green Cemetery. It's bucketing it down with rain as we take siege at the William IV pub. As regular readers know the lads like visiting Victoria Cross memorial graves, whilst I'm partial to a celebrity final resting place. The boys have 17x VCs to visit in the nearby cemetery, whilst I have a small list including: Isambard Brunel, Charles Babbage, Danny La Rue and a cenotaph with Freddie Mercury's name on it, as a service was held here for him in Kensal Green. 


The lads only bag one VC and I manage to wade my way through the puddles of rain water to find the Brunel family vault before the search is aborted due to the worsening monsoon conditions. The rest of the day is spent jumping on and off tubes, visiting Grade II listed buildings that are CAMRA Heritage pubs. Elgin Arms, The Punch Tavern and the wonderful Blackfriar are all ticked off. We finish the day off at a delightful Turkish restaurant called Melissa that's located right next to the train station. Thanks for driving Trev and to Crazy too for planning.

There's no rest for the wicked. On Friday morning I'm lounging around in YOLK cafe with a pot of tea for one as I wait for blog legend Tony Mac to rock up. I demolish poached eggs and streaky bacon on sourdough toast with woodland mushrooms (a bit posh for you Sticky) before making the short walk to Nottingham railway station.


Coops joins us for 'Friday Two Monthly Club' as we catch the 10.12 choo choo to Leicester. We have a 30 minute wait at Leicester station before our train to the historic town of Stamford, in Lincolnshire. Tony Mac sniffs out a pub called Barley Mow where we have a glass of Marstons - it's only 10.45 am.

Chopper Harris joins us at Melton Mowbray. We alight at Stamford and walk over an angry fast-flowing River Welland as we stroll into the delightful town centre. It's a place where Britain's heaviest ever man (at the time) died. Showman, Daniel Lambert, weighed in at over 52 stone when he passed away suddenly. I remember when we were at school we sang "Who ate all the pies? Daniel Lambert, Daniel Lambert, he ate all the pies,"


The best pub in Stamford is the Kings Head. It's table service only, and to be fair to the bar manager he gives us all a fantastic customer experience. Tony Mac entertains the lunchtime drinkers by missing two steps and taking a tumble. By now we've been joined by Ackers, my best mate by school. Matt Limon finally tips up. Earlier he had announced that his mobile phone had been swiped at a curry house in D***y in the early hours of Friday morning. It transpires that one of his daft lad, pie-eyed, Sheep mates had mistakenly put it in his coat pocket.

The Jolly Boys trip continues at Oakham, in the county of Rutland, at the Grainstore and in Melton Mowbray where some cracking hostelries are visited such as: Anne of Cleeves, Charlie's Bar and the marvellous Round Corner Brewery Tap Room. On arrival back at Chez Palms it's a straight Red card from Ms Moon.


I'm a bit sheepish on Saturday morning. I apologise to Ms Moon about the previous night's drunken shenanigans. As a peace offering I rustle us both up a sausage sandwich as we catch up over some Holidays in the Sun morning TV. The Princess has rubber stamped a pass out for Mansfield Town v Salford City - I can't 'arf pick 'em folks.

I'm tapping on the Field Mill ticket office window at 1.45pm after the short walk from the station. I collect my ticket and take my seat in the lower tier of the Ian Greaves Stand after parting with £4 for a Lion bar duo and a bottle of Pepsi Max. The DJ's set isn't too bad; it includes: Blur, Arctic Monkeys, The Kinks and Manfred Man. He's no 'Casually Dan' though.


I love watching any Nigel Clough team. His recruitment is always spot on. Salford City arrive on the back of an unbeaten 8 match run since the shrewd appointment of excitable Scouser Karl Robinson.

Mansfield have been knocking on the door before finally opening the scoring. A pinpoint, flighted cross from Williams is glanced home by former Nottingham Forest striker Will Swan. The game is open and like a cup tie. Salford's Elliot Watt is pulling all the strings in midfield. He can thread the ball through the eye of a needle. Raking passes are punched out of his boot with either foot. The visitors equalise with a superb solo goal from rapid young winger Junior Luamba. The Stags restore their lead in the ninth minute of added time. It's been a breathtaking, pulsating 55 minutes of football.


Mansfield can breath easier now that the exciting Luamba doesn't show up for the second half. He'd earlier rolled on his ankle when falling over the ball. They pass the Ammies off the park. Clough's team grab the game by the scruff of the neck. They increase their lead, just shy of the hour, when leading scorer Keillor-Dunn rolls the ball into an empty net after another faux pas by the Salford 'keeper. Akins puts the game to bed on 69 minutes.

The visitors are reduced to ten men after a straight red card (trending this weekend) is shown to Vassell. Substitute Boateng makes it 5-1 at 5.05 pm - to be honest I'm waiting on the platform for my train home to Nottingham by then, where I'm joined by two students studying sports journalism at Derby University. They are great company for the 30 minute journey.

Attendance: 7.166 (152 from Salford)

Man of the Match: Matt Limon for the Currygate phone 'theft.'

Credit photos of Carlton Town to Steve McKeown. Thanks Steve.

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