Keyworth United Res 2-6 Bilborough Town

Tony Mac and I have a stroke of good fortune on our journey back from Birmingham New Street Station, after 24 hours on the sauce in the city centre and neighbouring suburbs. We catch an earlier train than anticipated, as we were concerned about the build up of traffic from the 'World Famous City Ground' following the Forest v Everton late kick-off. We both receive an email from Cross Country Trains to say our later train had been cancelled at short notice. It's a lame excuse from another inept and underperforming train operator. Please put them back in the hands of the People like Northern and TransPennine Express are.

I'm dog tired as I bid farewell to Mac on arrival back in our great City. I jump into a taxi outside Loxley House, that heads back up towards Carlton. Grim news is breaking from NFFC. Big Sean Dyche has turned up the heat on NFFC's head coach, Steve Cooper, with a 1-0 win. The goal has come from Dwight McNeil, a player Dyche helped develop during his time at Turf Moor.

Ms Moon isn't interested in my boring, endless anecdotes of high jinks and drinking escapades with Tony Mac in Brum, as she is engrossed in the fag end of Strictly Come Dancing. I ask her if the lass from Corrie is still in poll position, before climbing the wooden hill and falling into a coma, dreaming of 13% abv boozy pastry imperial stouts with Bourbon and Cognac flavouring.

My alarm beeps at 4 am. Us Media lads don't have time to rest on our laurels - I work at a newsagents by the way. I fire up the kettle and pour a treacle-coloured Nescafe Alta Rica coffee, with a splash of milk in it. I can usually flop into my armchair and book an UBER ride to the shop in two minutes at this God forsaken unearthly hour of the morning. I draw back the curtains and notice, to my horror, that around three inches of snow has fallen during the night. In my drunken haze I had totally ignored a severe weather warning on my Accuweather app the previous evening.

I start to panic as I get the wheel of misfortune on my UBER app. A lot of these Herberts can't drive in ideal driving conditions, what are they going to be like on untreated, snow-covered roads? I finally get a booking, after what seems like an age. Miraculously, the papers arrive from 'the Smoke' in good time to be delivered. A massive hat tip must go to Dayne Lowe, in our shop, who delivers the shop's papers to hilly areas of Nottingham such as: Mapperley, Sherwood and Arnold.

I flick the Vs at UBER for the journey home to Chez Palms. A £4 bus fare for two rides on the excellent Nottingham City Transport bus numbers 58 and 27, see me back home for 3 pm following a nine hour shift at the MSR branch in Arnold.

It's Tuesday evening and I'm back on that 58 bus heading into the city centre. I turn a blind eye (my bad one) to the monstrosity that has pitched up in our Market Square. I remember back in the day how beautiful Slab Square used to look with its huge, towering trees, fountains and flower beds.

I meet 'Our Joe' and ex work son Tommy, in Hooters on London Road. I always feel uncomfortable there, if I'm honest, but the snap isn't too bad. On arrival at Carlton I'm asked by the lads if my glasses steamed up whilst I was eating my tea. I blame it on the cold, Baltic conditions.

Carlton Town versus Cleethorpes Town has somehow avoided a postponement despite a downpour of biblical proportions. The Carlton faithful have been starved of games of late, this is despite the valiant efforts of the World's greatest groundsman and blog legend Swifty.

I stand with 'Herr Harlow' for the first half. We're nearer to the end that the Millers attack. On reflection this looks a foolish decision as it's the visitors from Lincolnshire who have the better of the first 45 minutes. Thankfully they snatch at their chances as they raid down the flanks.

DJ Murph, aka 'Chief Wiggum', is in charge of the decks in the clubhouse this evening as 'Casually Dan' is on babysitting duties for 7 year old daughter Lily - although I must add both are attendees on a school night. 'Murph' plays a stunning, jaw-dropping set at the break that draws admiration from all quarters. He starts with Gangsters by Coventry-based Two Tone band The Specials. He follows this up with 'Love Like Blood', by post-punk band Killing Joke, whose guitarist 'Geordie' Walker passed away in Prague two weeks ago. The final track is 'Babylon is Burning' by The Ruts, whose lead singer Malcolm Owen died of a heroin overdose in 1980 at the peak of their fame.

This magnificent trio of records has fired up and galvanised the Mighty Millers both on and off the pitch. The ever consistent Niall Hylton scores a beauty from distance with his trusty left foot as Carlton look to run riot. The referee has spent most of the evening making a mountain out of a molehill, as both sides just look to play the beautiful game. Things boil over just as Gaz Bee is fleecing me for £4 on the football card (who won it btw Gaz?).

My back is turned as a huge roar goes up for a 'cast iron' penalty. It's a NO from tonight's referee Mr Richard Morris, but more importantly no flag is raised by assistant referee Grace Lowe who is only a few yards away from where the assault took place. She feels the wrath of Chief Wiggum's tongue with language I haven't heard since I worked in the coal mining industry.

At the final whistle the squad walk across to acknowledge the Millers support congregated behind the goal. One of the management team shouts out a derogatory remark aimed at the official(s) inept performance. "Put that in your match report" he shouts, before an about turn. It's another strong second half performance by Tommy and Mark's brave, young warriors.

Wednesday lunchtime and afternoon are spent once again in Nottingham. Ms Moon and I have a long lunch on the mezzanine floor at Delilah Fine Foods on Victoria Street. I buy some thermals from Blacks as Winter sets in and I browse the shelves of second hand book shops in hipster Hockley. I call by The Bell Inn for a soft drink before strolling up to the Cornerhouse on Burton Street.

It's a change of scenery on the film front today. Broadway Cinema is swapped out for Cineworld, which I must say is a lot cheaper and has comfier seats too. I'll always support the independent cinema that relies on donations. Saltburn isn't on the screens at Broadway. The film is set at Oxford University and stars Richard E Grant who plays the wealthy, eccentric father of a student who has been befriended by a scholar from Prescot, in Merseyside. It's a black comedy and psychological thriller that I would wholeheartedly recommend when it reaches our TV screens.

Friday evening is spent with Ms Moon and our good friends Roberto and Joanne who volunteer tirelessly for the AC Wollaton football charity, which raises monies and enhances lives through the power of football. We enjoy a few drinks at the TBI in West Bridgford, where the drinks are as cheap as chips and the company is first class.

I'd already made my mind up to go and watch 'The Keyworth Georgie Best' play for Keyworth United Reserves at 'the Theatre of 3G' - Sticky doesn't do 3G, but blood is thicker than fake grass. I jump on the Keyworth 6 that crosses over Trent Bridge, with views of the swollen banks of the river. Just two passengers are on board for the entire journey.

Johnny Harkins is filling out the team sheet as I seek the warmth of the clubhouse where on the TV screen Harvey Elliott has secured a late win for Liverpool, which means Sticky is through to the next round of MSR's Last Man Standing.

I briefly watch the teams warm up in the blustery, showery conditions. I catch up with Ressies manager Chris Thompson, who makes me feel very welcome by treating me to a cup of tea, The teams pay their respects to very popular Bilborough Town player Kail Thurman, who tragically lost his life in an accident.

I stand with Roberto as we feel the full force of a westerly wind accompanied by squally showers. Bilborough's 17 year old striker, David Olatomide, is posing problems. He's already missed a couple of chances before he opens the scoring. The Green Army also has an exciting young striker called 'Junior.' I've seen this kid open the bowling for Nottinghamshire CCC U18s down at Lady Bay Sports Ground  - he's only 16 yrs old. He gets a deserved equaliser as Keyworth grow into the game.

The wind advantage is Bilborough's gain in the second half. They go 3-1 up, but are then pegged back with a tap-in at the far post by 'The Keyworth Georgie Best.' He departs the game on 80 minutes, clearly yearning for a pint and a fag. The final scoreline is harsh on the Green Army young guns who have plugged away. The two in midfield are outstanding. The Ressies are in good health, as are the first team with six wins on the bounce. It's great to see the Keyworth community enjoying their football again now that the toxic atmosphere from seasons gone by has been extinguished.

The Bilborough Town team and management come into the bar for after match hospitality. What a smashing bunch of lads they are too. The game has been played in an excellent spirit and has been well refereed too. I can't 'arf pick 'em. The night is only to get better. More on that next week, if I get a game in.

Man of the Match: David Olatomide