Sunday, August 27, 2023

Winterton Rangers 1-2 Carlton Town


It's Sunday August 20th. I'm sitting in the armchair, flicking through my diary, to see what's planned for the week ahead. My mood is good following a routine win for the Mighty Millers in the FA Cup yesterday. Minutes later I'm throwing my arms up into the air in a fit of pique. I'm raging folks and blowing a gasket.

The bastard that is 'The Hundred Whackathon' has struck again. Players fly in and fly out of the country willy-nilly, happy to grab the dollar on offer. This farce of a competition has mucked up my entire cricket-watching schedule. Due to the greedy ECB no 'proper cricket' will be played at Trent Bridge for 60 days - in the height of summer. Add to this today's breaking news that Notts leg spin bowler Calvin Harrison - one of Sticky's favourites - has been called up by the Northern Superchargers; whoever the chuff they are. Notts will be without Calvin for the winner takes all One Day Cup clash versus Lancashire at Welbeck later in the week.


The FA Cup draw is made on Monday lunchtime. The Millers have been drawn away to north Warwickshire team Nuneaton Borough. Former Generation Game host Larry Grayson was born and laid to rest in the market town. I've sold my car now so it will probably 'shut that door' on any chance of visiting his grave.

It's Tuesday morning and I'm walking out of a Londis on Foxhill Road, in Carlton, with a carrier bag full of savouries and confectioneries. I'm heading up to the house of blog legend, Edward. Unfortunately I've got the Richard Herrod Centre and Carlton Forum mixed up - it's an easy mistake to make .. lol.


Ed's dad, Jon Hartstone, comes to the rescue by picking me up. We're heading up to Welbeck Cricket Club to watch the game I mentioned above. For the record, Jon's wife, Hazel, wrote one of the best books I've ever read. It's called Finding Stefan and it reduced me to tears.

We're all members of the Club, so don't pay in on the gate, although it is £5 to park the car. The news is that a depleted Notts side have won the toss and elected to bat on a moist wicket with a green top. Notts' batting is a complete and utter shambles. 42-5 is embarrassing. The highlights of the day are the homemade cake stall, an ice cream van and the marvellous company, of course. It takes over an hour to exit the car park. We drop Ed off in a cul-de-sac. He says it reminds him of Brookside Close. Ed loves a soap opera reference.


I'm on the road to Scunthorpe with the Millers on Wednesday evening. 'Casually Dan' is piloting, Big Joe is riding shotgun, whilst Nige and I are in the back. There's a nice bit of Steve Lamacq on the car sound system. Carlton Town cheerleader, Lily, aged nearly seven, doesn't make tonight's trip. We've lined up a couple of CAMRA entries in deepest Lincolnshire.

The Yarborough Hunt, in the town of Brigg, has a tidy back garden, but not a great selection of cask  alesare on. The 'Beer Gestapo' (CAMRA) must have been in a particularly benevolent mood during their pub visit. I have a strop at the George Hogg in Winterton as the pub are showing The Hundred on TV. My bottom lip is wobbling and my back is turned to the sideshow. Dan, Joe and Nige are giggling away.

I first visited Winterton Rangers back in 2010. If I remember right it was to be the Germany training camp had England won a World Cup bid. The Millers are under the cosh in the early stages of the game. 10 jacket Josh Walker (40 goals last season) is taking some looking after. Fortunately, for Carlton, he is withdrawn due to injury. The impressive David Adegbola scores a well-worked goal to put Carlton 1-0 up.


Nige and I tuck into a much-need pasty and chips from the food bar. I stand behind the goal with the rest of travelling fans in the second half. The Millers are pegged back after a defensive howler. I'd take a point now, but 'DJ Murph' says we have another goal in us. There's a huge cheer when it's announced that Nige has won the meat raffle. Barton the dog ain't happy, as he had eyes on those huge Lincolnshire pork sausages.

We're cheering again a few minutes later when Dean Freeman guides a header home after a missile of a long throw from Lewis 'Drongo' Durow. It's a cheery ride home back to Notts for the Millers faithful.


I'm taking advantage of three days off work this week. A Heritage Pub day, along with visiting the graves of soldiers who were awarded Victoria Cross medals for bravery, has been pencilled into the diary for some time. It's the usual squadron in attendance - 'Crazy Steve', 'Cotgrave Trev' and 'Little Al.' Anywhere oop north will do for me - today it's West Yorkshire.

We visit some cracking pubs at Heath, Burley and in Leeds city centre. Sadly the Garden Gate, in Hunslet, is now permanently closed. There was the added bonus of passing by and photographing the Marcelo Bielsa mural in Burley. I must buy the biography written on the Argentine, who is now the manager of the Uruguay national team. Pub of the day was the wonderful Adelphi Hotel, in Leeds. 


I work a full shift at the shop on Friday. I'm flat out all day. I'm due on at 5 a.m. tomorrow morning, so can't go bonkers on the drinks front this evening. I meet Tony Mac for a couple in the Cock and Hoop. We wander around the corner to Keans Head where I clock an Azvez pastry stout, chalked up on the blackboard, called 'Stocking Filler Nostalgia' that weighs in at 14%. One third of a glass of that bad boy gets the juices flowing, as does 'Shattered Dreamcake' a 9% coconut-laden Danish dessert sour pastry from the Vault City stable. I grab a kebab from the Carlton Fryer on the short walk home.

I toss and turn for most of the night as I know I'm up early. I rise at 3.30 am and book an Uber taxi (I've canned DG Cars due to another cock up on their part). There's not much time for bants with 'Chippy' as the shop does a roaring trade. I fill out our football betting syndicate bets on the bus journey home.


I climb up the stairs and flop onto the bed. A disco nap is required before the North Ferriby league game. An hour later I'm stood at the bus stop. A lass walks by and says all the buses are being diverted due to a serious crash at Porchester Road junction. A bus sails by as I walk in between bus stops. It's five minutes before kick off when I finally enter the turnstile. I've missed Casually Dan's Soul set and guest speaker Jarrod Holmes, who spoke so eloquently at the club's presentation day.

I glance at the starting line up and am alarmed to see that there's no out-and-out striker. Michael Ford is impressive in the middle of the park before he comes off with blood pouring from a gash wound to the head. Captain, Niall Davie, himself returning from injury, is Ford's replacement. I'm stood next to his mum, Lynn, who is nervous for her son, as Niall has had a catalogue of misfortune over the last few seasons. He's had more visits to the hospital than Jerry St Clair off Phoenix Nights.


I'm with Edward and Brian Hartley. There's an extraordinary incident on 31 minutes. Edward is fumbling in his pocket as his phone is going off. It's his mum, Hazel. There's been a soap opera of its own going off in their house this week. Hazel has purchased a paper guillotine that has developed a fault, unfortunately husband Jon has mislaid the receipt. I say to Ed that I'm sorry to hear this life-changing news, but can he send my condolences and tell his mum off for phoning up during a vital league game that we need three points from.

It's 0-0 at the break but I notice on the TV screen in the clubhouse that 'The Lincoln' are in cruise control at Sincil Bank versus the Seasiders of Blackpool. Carlton take the lead in bizzare circumstances following a faux pax by the Ferriby 'keeper, who up until then had been excellent.


The visitors have always been in the game. They have one or two big lads who put themselves about. They equalise on 64 minutes and score what turns out to be the winner with 20 minutes remaining. They've brought some good support with them, it's a shame that many chose not to go into the bar. I did manage to catch up with one of their hardcore supporters Nick Quantrill, a novelist from Hull, who I met on a previous visit to Humberside.

Man of the Match: Edward

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