I'm hanging onto the escalator handrail for dear life as I head down to the South East Trains area of London St Pancras station. It's become an unpleasant and anxious part of tube train travel since I lost sight in my right eye (detached retina if I haven't bored you before). I feel unsteady when travelling on a moving part.
The reason for my visit to 'The Smoke' is two-fold: (a) I'm ticking off CAMRA Heritage pubs and Good Beer Guide entries (b) Lincoln City are playing QPR in a League fixture for the first time in almost 65 years. Loftus Road is one of London's great grounds.
I alight the train in Sidcup, which in old money was in Kent. Notable people born in the town include: Olympic javelin thrower Steve Backley, X-Factor winner Sam Bailey, Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones and the founder of MacMillan Cancer Support Douglas MacMillan.
The Black Boy was built in 1961 and is listed on the CAMRA inventory as three stars. There's no cask ale available, so I ask for a pint of Guinness. A group of elderly 'gentlemen' are gathered in the corner of the bar for 'Friday Lunch Club.' It's like a scene from Only Fools and Horses as they crack gags in Cockney rhyming slang, with a few choice swear words added into the pot. They keep apologising to me, but it doesn't stop them from dropping further expletives.
I peg it back to the train station and head west towards the leafy suburban town of Teddington. It's where ITV productions such as Opportunity Knocks and the Benny Hill Show were filmed. Following a DNA test in 1997 it was proven that Opportunity Knocks host, Hughie Green, was the biological father of TV presenter and writer Paula Yates. Benny Hill name-checked Teddington in his chart-topping 1972 hit 'Ernie (the Fastest Milkman in the West)'
I visit two stunning pubs in the area called Builders Arms and Masons Arms. The landlady in the latter is so welcoming. She knows every regular pub-goer's order before they have even opened their mouth. I check my beer app and notice another GBG entry is 20 minutes up the road. Sticky doesn't do rugger, but he's off for a scoop in 'Twickers.'
I enjoy a refreshing ale at The Roebuck as Crown Heights Affair's 1980 disco hit 'You Gave Me Love ' booms out of the pub's sound system. I later discover, by accident, that England are playing Australia on Sunday just down the road at the Allianz Stadium.
I'm staying the night at a Premier Inn in the Tower Bridge area of London. I hit the streets swiftly after check-in. The Princess of Prussia is a few hundred yards down the road on Prescot Street. It somehow survived 'the Blitz.' I finish up the night in The Ship, another charming Victorian pub. It's a meal deal from Tesco for supper, that's accompanied by a TV documentary on BBC 4 about the Canadian singer, songwriter and poet Leonard Cohen.
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Apologies for the pub heavy chat, but there are more pubs to visit today (Saturday).You can enjoy a three week break from these ramblings after this latest diary entry, as I'm flying out to warmer climes. I'm sat in a 'Spoons at a place called Northolt, that's well known for its Royal Air Force base. The coffins of Queen Elizabeth II (from Balmoral) and Princess Diana (from Paris) were both flown into RAF Northolt.
I tuck into a traditional large breakfast. There's a lot to like and dislike about Wetherspoons. The app, which includes table service, was a big game-changer, when introduced in 2017. I opt for a cappuccino, rather than a real ale,
I emerge from the underground at Notting Hill Gate tube station entrance. I've arranged to meet up with my brother Mark at a gastro pub called Blue Hops. Its sells Allsop Brewery beers that are brewed in Kirkstall, Leeds. The pale ale is a belter and knocks the spots off most of the southern brews I've supped in recent days.
Our Kid and I get off the tube at White City, an area that was famous for greyhound racing back in the day. We walk down South Africa Road before gaining access to the Bhatia Stand. Loftus Road is a smashing ground. You feel tight to the pitch wherever your viewpoint happens to be. I've only been once before, back in 1988, when Brian Clough's Nottingham Forest was victorious 2-1.
I have a soft spot for QPR. I remember the 70s when they had flair players such as Stan Bowles, Rodney Marsh and Don Givens. I subscribed for a number of years to their cult fanzine A Kick Up The Rs, which recently celebrated its 400th issue.
The DJ is pumping up the crowd with Armand Van Helden, The Clash and Joy Division. QPR can be hit or miss, whilst the Imps have taken a dip in form. Remembering those lost during Wars is always a moving and emotional occasion. Queens Park Rangers go a step further by announcing every player's name who died in service having played for QPR and Lincoln City. The noise and chatter behind us in the sponsors' lounges, during the silence, makes me angry and unsettled.
The Imps look nervous and unsteady in the opening 25 minutes. They are fortuitous to be only a goal behind as QPR's pace, movement and dribbling outwits the visitors. Out of the blue Lincoln score a stunning equaliser. Draper holds up the ball and plays in Dom Jeffries who makes a lung-bursting run before dinking the ball over the onrushing Hoops 'keeper. It's Rangers who live a charmed life now.
There will be more legroom on my Ryanair flight out to Tenerife on Tuesday than there is on our row of seats. It's not helped by the bloke next to me (not Our Kid) smelling like he hasn't had a bath for a fortnight as he gnaws his way through two Tesco meal deals.
Lincoln have a great opening 15 minutes to the second half, but Rangers start to get on top as they introduce more players from the bench who possess elite ball mastery. The winner has been coming and is fully deserved. It's gut wrenching, but what a fantastic afternoon out we've had, at a superb football club.
Player of the Match: Glen Kamara
Best New Record Heard This Week: Pulled Apart By Horses, Great White Lies
Best Old Record Heard This Week: Crown Height Affairs, You Gave Me Love
Real Ale of the Week Allsops, Pale Ale, Blue Hops, Notting Hill
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