I exit Chesterfield FC's SMH Group stadium to be met with a 50 mph howling wind. The rain stings my skin like it did on my arrival four hours ago. I trudge across the road, making my way towards the railway station. It's a 25 minute walk that I'm not particularly looking forward to, as Storm Darragh blows through. By chance, a public service bus pulls up down the road. I leg it and hop on. A £2 fare is paid to a grumpy driver, who gets me to the town centre. I sit in the station waiting room as the EMR train from Sheffield to Nottingham is delayed by 15 minutes.
I'm scrolling through my Twitter timeline when I notice a direct message from Steve Mack, a Notts-based brilliant Non League photographer, who also happens to be a big Tranmere Rovers fan. We sit together on the train. Steve's not too downbeat about the final score. He agrees that Rovers will be in a relegation scrap unless there's much-need investment or a long-running takeover bid rumour is signed off before the end of the year, in time for the January transfer window, as fresh blood is needed.
I enjoy a couple of pints of Stargazer, a decadently poured stout, at Barley Twist, on Carrington Street. Steve has joined me, but he has to shoot off up to Rescue Rooms for a gig later. It's gone 8 pm by the time I jump off the Carlton 27, at the bus stop that's located outside the worst supermarket in the world. I grab a pizza off a shelf at Carlton Tesco. I'm pushed for time, as I need an early night. The irony that Wilson Pickett is belting out the lyric "I'm gonna wait 'til the midnight hour", as shoppers queue at the self-service checkout, is not lost on me. "We probably will be" I say out loud to nobody in particular.
Sunday afternoon is spent listening to back to back Radcliffe and Maconie shows followed by my weekly staple of Steve Lamacq from his 6 Music Monday evening show. I hit the wooden hill before 10 pm - two nights in York, a wet and windy day in Chesterfield and a Sunday morning shop opening have done for me.
It's Wednesday morning and I'm hanging around outside the Laguna curry house on Mount Street. I have managed to negotiate a day off from the shop. This can only mean one thing: it's a Heritage Pub and Victoria Cross memorial day out in Norfolk and Suffolk with the following blog legends: Crazy Steve, Cotgrave Trev and Little Al.
'Crazy' is fresh as a daisy after a week on his tod in Jamaica - you've got to have massive cahoonas to go to Kingston town on your 'Jack Jones' - he did seek advice from a mate on the do's and don'ts. He watched a few days of the Test match between the West Indies and Bangladesh, which was held at Sabina Park.
The first town we visit on our arrival in East Anglia is Swaffham. It's often name-checked by Alan Partridge on his Radio Norwich show. There is a funeral taking place as we walk through to the rear of the churchyard to pay our respects to Sir Arthur Kynet Wilson, who was awarded a Victoria Cross for his bravery during the Mahdi Rebellion, in Sudan, in 1884.
The grave that I want to visit is in the village of Woolpit. He was a 'soldier' too. A member of the Home Guard in the fictional seaside town of Walmington-on-Sea. Ian Lavender played the part of Private Pike in the hugely popular BBC comedy series Dad's Army. Lavender later went on to appear in the soap opera EastEnders - I bet that was a barrel of laughs. Lavender sadly passed away in February this year. There is a wooden cross on his grave with a plaque attached to it.
Lunchtime is spent in Bury St Edmunds. The Nutshell, a heritage pub in the town centre, opened as a beerhouse in 1873. Its interior measures at 15ft x 7ft, making it one of the UK's smallest pubs. The lady behind the bar is good fun. In recent months a few celebrities have called in for a drink including: Leo Sayer, Fatima Whitbread and Reverend Richard Coles. I ask if Leo Sayer was on an all-dayer.
Crazy drops me off on London Road, in Nottingham, where traffic is at a standstill. I stroll through the city centre before dropping down into Sneinton. I have a couple of small glasses at the Partizan Tavern. I stroll back across the road and through the marketplace.
Faggsy is sat in the dimly lit Bath Inn. The landlord, the son of former Dr Who, Tom Baker, has done a cracking job with the Christmas decorations.I enjoy a catch up with Faggsy who has recently returned from a week away up in Keswick, in the Lake District. It's the usual topics of conversation: Notts County, Carlton Town and Nottinghamshire County Cricket Club. We finish the night up in the King Billy.
It's another day off on Friday. I'm actually in Arnold for midday. More to the point I'm in a 'Spoons called The Ernehale. My boss, 'Chippy Fryer' is recovering from knee replacement surgery. We're having a shop get together to celebrate the festive season. 'Fred', Tony 'Calamity' Crabtree and Sean are all in attendance. The plan, in my fuzzy head, was for a couple of pints, followed by some shopping in town. Eight hours later I'm still holed up in Arnold with Chippy, having ticked off The Greyhound, Sasha's and Cross Keys. I have a vague memory, on my return to Chez Palms, of watching Gogglebox as I fought to stay awake in my armchair.
'Fred' has set up a chocolate market stall outside the shop on Saturday morning. Muggins has drawn the short straw and 'he's' also feeling a tad delicate. We do a roaring trade with cheery customers on a busy Front Street, that's bustling with Christmas shoppers.
Ms Moon picks me up on the nose at 2pm. We head north to the village of Rainworth, which is well known for the capture of the murderer and kidnapper Donald Neilson, who was nicknamed by the Press as the Black Panther. He was overpowered by the afternoon shift of Rufford Colliery outside a local chippy after taking two policemen hostage, back in 1975.
I fight my fatigue as 'Mr Personality' (Mark Goodier) is on his Pick of the Pops show again. He plays Cry Wolf by A-ha and 'So Cold the Night' by The Communards. My Jimmy Somerville impersonation goes down a storm with Ms Moon (not!)
I was going to quickly tick off a Good Beer Guide entry in the village called The Inkpot Micropub, sadly it's closed for the weekend. The guy on the gate is dead friendly - I could have paid in as a concession, as in my hungover state I look in a right two 'n eight (he asked me how old I was?) I part with £12, as every pound counts at this level. I also buy a golden goal ticket.
I had hoped to see Carlton Town loanee David Olatomide playing for today's visitors Stapleford Town. There's no sign of him during the warm up. A team sheet. shown to me by a club official. confirms his absence. It proper cheeses me off.
Upo's lad, Jack, is playing for 'Stabbo.' I can neither see nor hear Upo, which suggests he's AWOL too. The first half is a hard watch, but Rainworth are good value for their one goal lead. Stapleford appear lacklustre and give the ball away too cheaply. We're straight in the clubhouse for a warm.
The visitors up their gears in the second half, snatching an unlikely victory with two great strikes. It's bloody freezing up here. I can't wait to get home to my armchair where I'll crack open a couple of craft ale cans whilst studying the day's results from all corners of the world.
Attendance: 56
Man of the Match: Crazy Steve
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