I pay the price for a long day out which included a football match and a gig at The Bodega, a venue celebrating their 25th birthday this week. The alarm goes off at 3 am on Sunday; like it does every week. Folk say why on earth would you rise from your slumber at some ungodly hour to work at a paper shop. It's simple: I love my job and adore the characters that come through our doors, even if they are Daily Mail readers.
I chat away to my Albanian taxi driver during the short ten minute journey to Arnold.. He says his homeland is a beautiful country that I must visit one day. I ask him if he's ever heard of Norman Wisdom. The 50s Cockney actor was a cult hero in Albania during their communist regime and was given the Freedom of Tirana, the country's capital. He's buried in the Isle of Man, a place I intend to visit sometime in the near future. And of course, I'll pay my respects.
I'm rushing around like a bluearse fly on Tuesday evening, due to the incompetence of Nottingham City Transport. This evening there have been more sightings of Lord Lucan than a 25 bus from Arnold. I have a five star chippy tea at the award-winning Oceans. I meet Faggsy outside the Nags Head. On Burton Road we are met with the flashing lights of blues and twos. The approach has been taped off due to a car accident. We can hear the sound of a fireman's cutting gear as we take a detour down Conway Road.
Dunston UTS FC, from up in Gateshead, are tonight's visitors to El Stadio Stokeld. It's where the flawed genius Paul Gascoigne grew up. I was up there earlier in the season for an FA Cup replay versus neighbouring Whickham FC. They weren't all that on a windy summer evening. But they did look handy down the left hand side, where ironically the first goal comes from as two challenges in the air are lost, which creates a gaping hole in the Millers' defence. Robson gets in behind and slots the ball home.
The Millers huff and puff but lack any creativity. It's doom and gloom in the clubhouse as Carlton's miserable run of form looks set to continue. When a side makes a 300 mile-round midweek trip it can bring a togetherness and siege mentality - I've seen this when Carlton have made long journeys to the north of the country on Tuesday evenings. Remember these guys are only part-time. They will have given up half a day's wages to go and play football, when the monies paid by Non League clubs aren't as inflated as the bush telegraph thinks they are.
Faggsy and I settle in at the Old Volunteer as we try to pinpoint why the Millers have fallen to another defeat. 2-0 was a tad harsh, but they never tested a rotund and plump goalkeeper who would have gone down in installments had anyone bothered to have a shot on target. At least a roasty, smokie Raven porter and Mango IPA is a nice way to finish the night off.
I was saddened to see that Steve Cooper has been shown the door at the King Power Stadium. I'm unsure what the expectations of Leicester City FC and their supporters are, but surely you'd have settled for 17th position come the end of the season. I'm not sure who is running the show at LCFC, but their Owner does have previous. Also the behaviour of the players on a weekend piss up in Copenhagen showed them in their true light. They won't be missed if they bite the dust in May.
It's Wednesday evening and I'm sitting in my armchair tucking into Tuscan Salmon that has been cooked with my fair hand. I stare at the TV screen in disbelief. That bloody dullard, Liam the doctor, is having a snog with Chas off 'The Farm,' How on Earth does this wet blanket do it? It's not his chat or gags; that's for sure.
It's Friday morning. The end of my working week was yesterday. Today it's the Jolly Boys Christmas Party. I push open the door of Plan A, the artist formerly known as Tuckers Cafe, on Friar Lane, in Nottingham. Tony Mac and Tory Boy Limon are already drinking tea and coffee. The full English, including toast and tea, is good value at £8.50.
We have to dash for a Number One double decker that's located around the corner on Beastmarket Hill. The bus winds its way through the villages of Gotham and East Leake. We alight the bus in Loughborough town centre. Matt Limon has been placed in charge of today's itinerary.
We take a photo of a mural of Women's Marathon record-holder Paula Radcliffe, who gained a first-class degree in Modern Studies at Loughborough University back in the 1990s. We tick off three pubs in the town before jumping on a Kinch zig zag bus that takes us to the village of Barrow Upon Soar. I've been to most of the pubs in the village, but Limon is keen to visit a Charnwood Brewery Tap called The Fox Cub.
I get a few disapproving looks from the locals as I've got my Nottinghamshire County Cricket Club clobber on.
Ackers and Mad Dog are also on the trip. We return to Loughborough where Moonface, Needle and Pin, The Wheeltapper are ticked off. We call by the Round RobINN and finally finish up at Brew Tavern, adjacent to Nottingham train station. Limon's nightcap is a beauty. It's 14.5% abv Imperial double stout from a nano brewery called Emperor's, who are based in Coalville. I decline his kind offer of a snifter. Thanks for organising the day out, Matt.
I laze around on Saturday morning. We were going up to Swinton, in South Yorkshire. But I'd noticed that Radford are entertaining United Counties Division One League leaders Clipstone FC. Not many girls can say they've been treated to an afternoon out in Raddy - that's twice this season for Ms Moon.
I loaf in my armchair placing football bets, putting the National Lottery on and updating the Keyworth Dream League latest scorers. Ms Moon is binge-watching Location, Location Location. She says that the host, Phil Spencer, inherited, along with his siblings, £18 million following the loss of his parents in a tragic accident.
Mark Goodier is on Radio 2's Pick of the Pops. If you're ever suffering from insomnia give Goodier a go, you'll be out like a light. He does bring some cheer to the car (from me) when he announces that the year he's playing records (1996) is when Take That split up. He then plays Innocent Child by Mark Owen which is better than anything Take That have knocked out. Ms Moon disagrees.
We park up in Asda and then wander across the road. It's £6 on the gate. I get the usual lukewarm reception as I'm a Jonah on my visits to Selurst Street. I have some craic with Raddy physio Shoey and stalwart supporter and volunteer, ASBO as ELO's Mr Blue Sky plays on the PA system.
The game is scrappy, but Radford are handed a lifeline when the visitors' Mitchell sees the red mist descend and a red card correctly waved in his face by the young official. A wag shouts out from behind the goal, "not sure what's worse, the challenge or your haircut, you dirty northern ******". If anything Clipstone play better a man down. They carve out some good chances. Although the Pheasants spurn a good opening when through on goal.
I manage a quick chat with Scott Ward, who I haven't seen for ages, since his involvement with Blidworth. The second half isn't the best. The game is desperate for a goal but it comes at the wrong end. I suggest to Ms Moon we edge nearer to the exit as Big Glenn has proper got it on him.
Crowd favourite Josh Gardner comes on way too late. The fussy official cautions him for entering the field of play without permission, such is his eagerness. He shows quality from his first touch. He turns the full back inside out and kills him for pace before being crudely brought down. I'd like to see him start next time, as he's a match winner.
Attendance: 100
Man of the Match: Matt Limon
