I ring the 'next stop' bell on the 3A Nottingham to Mansfield, Trent Barton bus. I hop off in Kirkby in Ashfield - 'Tory Ashfield' - an area decimated by pit closures. I fish my phone from out of my coat pocket. There's one incoming message from 'Sticky jnr.' It's really sad news. 'King Arthur' has passed.
As a kid, I grew up in the village of Keyworth, in south Notts. We had a village green where football was played in winter and cricket in the summer. At the time there was no youth set up. In the mid 70s, with the village growing due to Frank Goulding, Wimpey and Constain estates being built quicker than you could shake a stick at, a new complex was opened on the outskirts of the village. Platt Lane sits adjacent to the British Geological Survey; Keyworth's largest employer.
A local builder, and friend of my Dad, Arthur Oldham got hold of the football club by the scruff of its neck and laid the foundations. He was a visionary and a shrewd cookie. Keyworth United were, back then, revered and feared. 'King Art' built one of the greatest sides in the Club's history. It was at a time when all the Miners' Welfares had teams as well as works' teams like Boots, Worthington and Simpson and John Player. It would hold its own in Step 5 level, had it been now, Arthur's recruitment was canny too. He sold on David 'Biddy' Riley to Nottingham Forest and Mickey Waitt to Notts County. Brian Clough even brought a Forest XI to play Keyworth on a balmy summer afternoon in 1988.
Arthur later went on to have further success at Arnold Town and Quorn FC. He was a football man who loved nothing more than chewing over a game, late into Saturday evening. He always dressed immaculately; sporting a smart jacket and a turtleneck jumper. Rest in peace Arthur. They don't make 'em like you any more, mate.
I continue my walk in north Notts. I chance upon three statues in the precinct, outside the library. Test cricketers Harold Larwood and Bill Voce were born in nearby Nuncargate and Annesley Woodhouse. Both were involved in the Ashes 'Bodyline' series in the 1930s against Don Bradman's Aussies. The statues are amazing. Larwood is bowling at Bradman, whilst Voce fields at silly mid-off.
I quench my thirst at a Pub People Company watering hole called the Duke of Sussex, in Sutton in Ashfield. There are three Blue Monkey beers on offer. I plump for a BG Sips and take a seat in the corner as U2's 'Beautiful Day' is piped out of the public bar speakers.
I stroll into Sutton town centre; it's as dead as a dodo. Pubs are boarded up and the high street is littered with 'To Let' signs. The electorate have sold out to BREXIT. 20,000 voted 'Remain' with over 46,000 wanting to 'Leave.' I don't see any 'Levelling Up' money being made available right now, to spruce up the town centre, although the Sherwood Observatory and a reservoir have recently been awarded £3 million. Is that what you voted for?
Wednesday evening is spent at The City Ground. Manchester United are in our manor for the first time in three decades. I decide to make the 3 mile walk to the ground. I'm sat in my seat, in the Lower Brian Clough Stand, just shy of an hour before kick off - even the keepers haven't come out to warm up yet. The pre-match music is boring and stale. Carlton Town's 'DJ Dan' would soon liven the place up.
'United' warm-up close to where I'm sat. All the young kids are mesmerised by the presence of a bang in-form Marcus Rashford. The No.10 is fully focussed on the drills. He starts the game like a train; a high speed one too. Like a greyhound out of the traps he speeds past a stationary Freuler and a pulled out of position Worrall, before unleashing a left-footed shot into the net.
United canter to a 3-0 victory. Their fans are magnificent. They are relentless in their chanting and have endless amusing ditties. They take the rise out of the silent NFFC fans who leave in their droves from 80 minutes onwards. They finish their 'set' with "Fred ... Fred, will tear you apart again" a sample from Manc band Joy Division's 1980 single 'Love Will Tear Us Apart.'
I've proper 'cocked up on the catering front', as Reggie Perrin once said. Thursday night's chicken and mushroom gnocchi is ruined because some idiot (obvs me) has forgotten to add sour cream to the dish. All you can taste is the chicken stock.
Unfortunately, for me, a double bill of Coronation Street is on the TV set. A ginger-haired youth is bleating to his missus about having no money. "Is that Chesney?", I enquire. The reply is affirmative. "He might save a few bob towards his four bairns if he sent 'Schmeichel' (his Great Dane) to the Dogs' Trust." "Schmeichel died in 2011 Babe", says Ms Moon. I get my coat and head out towards the doghouse.
It's the 'Friday Club' monthly 'Jolly Boys' outing to Leicester. The plan was to have breakfast at The Avenues on Sneinton Market. It's snided out with workmen, who are building new apartments, which dwarf the market. Oh well, YOLK it is again.
We catch the 10.50 train to Leicester. It's a full squadron and a strong line up that includes: Tony Mac, 'Limon', Coops, Ackers and 'Chopper.' Leicester is a place full of hidden gems that are often unearthed when hunting down real ale pubs. The Blue Boar, The Salmon and King's Arms are a must visit. There's a statue of Thomas Cook in the city centre and lots of King Richard III related stuff. 'The Jumper Knitters' need something to cheer them up as Brendan Rodgers plans his exit, with the Foxes in freefall.
There's no sore head or feeling rough around the edges on Saturday morning. I'm up, at 'em and ready for matchday. I've been given a reprieve and allowed back in the kitchen. I'm knocking up another award-winning lamb curry. Firmly sticking to the guidelines of the BBC Good Food recipe.
I have a trot down to Carlton Tesco, which is an ordeal in itself. The staff seem rather chipper. Well they would be, as its self service checkouts ONLY. Suits me down to the ground. I'm quicker at scanning than those lads and lasses on the tills, any day of the week. A hat tip to the Radio Tesco DJ for playing 'Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy' by Queen. Not heard that in donkey's years.
I'm down Stoke Lane, home of Carlton Town, at just gone 2 pm. 'DJ Dan' has already started his set. It's an eclectic mix of indie through to soul. I thumb my through the 48 page stunning programme as I tap my feet to The Police and 'De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da.'
Today is a massive relegation six-pointer versus Shildon AFC, who make the long 266 mile-round trip from County Durham. Alan Murphy dishes out the team sheets. A few changes have been made of late following one win in the last seven League outings.
There is one late addition to my clobber, with Ms Moon bringing down my snood, as it's always a tad chilly stood close to the water. We could have had a little jig together, minutes earlier, to warm ourselves up, when Dan played 'Le Freak' by Chic. We stand close to the end that the Millers are attacking. hoping and praying that it's them that can break the deadlock first. It's a scrappy, edgy opening half with not much to report on either team.
There is, however, an action-packed 15 minutes in the clubhouse during the break. A 7 year old rescue dog called Po, a Shar Bei breed, is enjoying a bit of fuss from most folk and is lapping up the attention. Unfortunately, a small white dog, sat close by, name unknown (enquiries continue) is affronted and quite cross about this. She has a go at Po, who isn't shy in the tackle. I break 'em up and tell them both to behave before waving two yellow cards.
Gary 'Boatsy' Clarke and Jitz have rocked up. Gary has a book launch down at the club on Sunday 19th February. I promise I'll be there 'live and exclusive' for the release of his new book with co-author Paul Lowe called 'Angels With Dirty Faces.' 2 pm kick off, if you fancy it. Be a few celebs there too.
The opening goal is crucial and is always going to be scruffy or have an element of luck about it. Poor Dan Brown, often the Millers' best player, turns a cross into his own net. It's game over, eight minutes later, when a shot from the right hand side evades everyone before nestling into the bottom corner of the net.'DJ Dan' consoles himself by downing another 'Newkie Brown.'
There have been some bright moments, mostly from Tyler Blake and John White, but right now, on a losing streak, the Millers are staring down the barrel of the gun, with relegation a possibility, unless there is a reversal of fortune.
Attendance: 124
Man of the Match: John White
Rest in Peace Arthur Oldham. A Keyworth Legend xx
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