Winterton Rangers 1-2 Carlton Town

It's Sunday August 20th. I'm sitting in the armchair, flicking through my diary, to see what's planned for the week ahead. My mood is good following a routine win for the Mighty Millers in the FA Cup yesterday. Minutes later I'm throwing my arms up into the air in a fit of pique. I'm raging folks and blowing a gasket.

The bastard that is 'The Hundred Whackathon' has struck again. Players fly in and fly out of the country willy-nilly, happy to grab the dollar on offer. This farce of a competition has mucked up my entire cricket-watching schedule. Due to the greedy ECB no 'proper cricket' will be played at Trent Bridge for 60 days - in the height of summer. Add to this today's breaking news that Notts leg spin bowler Calvin Harrison - one of Sticky's favourites - has been called up by the Northern Superchargers; whoever the chuff they are. Notts will be without Calvin for the winner takes all One Day Cup clash versus Lancashire at Welbeck later in the week.

The FA Cup draw is made on Monday lunchtime. The Millers have been drawn away to north Warwickshire team Nuneaton Borough. Former Generation Game host Larry Grayson was born and laid to rest in the market town. I've sold my car now so it will probably 'shut that door' on any chance of visiting his grave.

It's Tuesday morning and I'm walking out of a Londis on Foxhill Road, in Carlton, with a carrier bag full of savouries and confectioneries. I'm heading up to the house of blog legend, Edward. Unfortunately I've got the Richard Herrod Centre and Carlton Forum mixed up - it's an easy mistake to make .. lol.

Ed's dad, Jon Hartstone, comes to the rescue by picking me up. We're heading up to Welbeck Cricket Club to watch the game I mentioned above. For the record, Jon's wife, Hazel, wrote one of the best books I've ever read. It's called Finding Stefan and it reduced me to tears.

We're all members of the Club, so don't pay in on the gate, although it is £5 to park the car. The news is that a depleted Notts side have won the toss and elected to bat on a moist wicket with a green top. Notts' batting is a complete and utter shambles. 42-5 is embarrassing. The highlights of the day are the homemade cake stall, an ice cream van and the marvellous company, of course. It takes over an hour to exit the car park. We drop Ed off in a cul-de-sac. He says it reminds him of Brookside Close. Ed loves a soap opera reference.

I'm on the road to Scunthorpe with the Millers on Wednesday evening. 'Casually Dan' is piloting, Big Joe is riding shotgun, whilst Nige and I are in the back. There's a nice bit of Steve Lamacq on the car sound system. Carlton Town cheerleader, Lily, aged nearly seven, doesn't make tonight's trip. We've lined up a couple of CAMRA entries in deepest Lincolnshire.

The Yarborough Hunt, in the town of Brigg, has a tidy back garden, but not a great selection of cask  alesare on. The 'Beer Gestapo' (CAMRA) must have been in a particularly benevolent mood during their pub visit. I have a strop at the George Hogg in Winterton as the pub are showing The Hundred on TV. My bottom lip is wobbling and my back is turned to the sideshow. Dan, Joe and Nige are giggling away.

I first visited Winterton Rangers back in 2010. If I remember right it was to be the Germany training camp had England won a World Cup bid. The Millers are under the cosh in the early stages of the game. 10 jacket Josh Walker (40 goals last season) is taking some looking after. Fortunately, for Carlton, he is withdrawn due to injury. The impressive David Adegbola scores a well-worked goal to put Carlton 1-0 up.

Nige and I tuck into a much-need pasty and chips from the food bar. I stand behind the goal with the rest of travelling fans in the second half. The Millers are pegged back after a defensive howler. I'd take a point now, but 'DJ Murph' says we have another goal in us. There's a huge cheer when it's announced that Nige has won the meat raffle. Barton the dog ain't happy, as he had eyes on those huge Lincolnshire pork sausages.

We're cheering again a few minutes later when Dean Freeman guides a header home after a missile of a long throw from Lewis 'Drongo' Durow. It's a cheery ride home back to Notts for the Millers faithful.

I'm taking advantage of three days off work this week. A Heritage Pub day, along with visiting the graves of soldiers who were awarded Victoria Cross medals for bravery, has been pencilled into the diary for some time. It's the usual squadron in attendance - 'Crazy Steve', 'Cotgrave Trev' and 'Little Al.' Anywhere oop north will do for me - today it's West Yorkshire.

We visit some cracking pubs at Heath, Burley and in Leeds city centre. Sadly the Garden Gate, in Hunslet, is now permanently closed. There was the added bonus of passing by and photographing the Marcelo Bielsa mural in Burley. I must buy the biography written on the Argentine, who is now the manager of the Uruguay national team. Pub of the day was the wonderful Adelphi Hotel, in Leeds. 

I work a full shift at the shop on Friday. I'm flat out all day. I'm due on at 5 a.m. tomorrow morning, so can't go bonkers on the drinks front this evening. I meet Tony Mac for a couple in the Cock and Hoop. We wander around the corner to Keans Head where I clock an Azvez pastry stout, chalked up on the blackboard, called 'Stocking Filler Nostalgia' that weighs in at 14%. One third of a glass of that bad boy gets the juices flowing, as does 'Shattered Dreamcake' a 9% coconut-laden Danish dessert sour pastry from the Vault City stable. I grab a kebab from the Carlton Fryer on the short walk home.

I toss and turn for most of the night as I know I'm up early. I rise at 3.30 am and book an Uber taxi (I've canned DG Cars due to another cock up on their part). There's not much time for bants with 'Chippy' as the shop does a roaring trade. I fill out our football betting syndicate bets on the bus journey home.

I climb up the stairs and flop onto the bed. A disco nap is required before the North Ferriby league game. An hour later I'm stood at the bus stop. A lass walks by and says all the buses are being diverted due to a serious crash at Porchester Road junction. A bus sails by as I walk in between bus stops. It's five minutes before kick off when I finally enter the turnstile. I've missed Casually Dan's Soul set and guest speaker Jarrod Holmes, who spoke so eloquently at the club's presentation day.

I glance at the starting line up and am alarmed to see that there's no out-and-out striker. Michael Ford is impressive in the middle of the park before he comes off with blood pouring from a gash wound to the head. Captain, Niall Davie, himself returning from injury, is Ford's replacement. I'm stood next to his mum, Lynn, who is nervous for her son, as Niall has had a catalogue of misfortune over the last few seasons. He's had more visits to the hospital than Jerry St Clair off Phoenix Nights.

I'm with Edward and Brian Hartley. There's an extraordinary incident on 31 minutes. Edward is fumbling in his pocket as his phone is going off. It's his mum, Hazel. There's been a soap opera of its own going off in their house this week. Hazel has purchased a paper guillotine that has developed a fault, unfortunately husband Jon has mislaid the receipt. I say to Ed that I'm sorry to hear this life-changing news, but can he send my condolences and tell his mum off for phoning up during a vital league game that we need three points from.

It's 0-0 at the break but I notice on the TV screen in the clubhouse that 'The Lincoln' are in cruise control at Sincil Bank versus the Seasiders of Blackpool. Carlton take the lead in bizzare circumstances following a faux pax by the Ferriby 'keeper, who up until then had been excellent.

The visitors have always been in the game. They have one or two big lads who put themselves about. They equalise on 64 minutes and score what turns out to be the winner with 20 minutes remaining. They've brought some good support with them, it's a shame that many chose not to go into the bar. I did manage to catch up with one of their hardcore supporters Nick Quantrill, a novelist from Hull, who I met on a previous visit to Humberside.

Man of the Match: Edward

Nottingham Forest 2-1 Sheffield United

I'm walking down London Road, mingling with the travelling Grimsby Town fans, after the Mariners 3-2 defeat to Notts County. There's no complaints from their lot, they accept they've been well beaten. I enjoy a pint of Inti, from the Alpha Delta Brewery, who are based in Newcastle upon Tyne, at the Partizan Tavern in Sneinton. Landlord, Tony Perkins, a die hard Notts County supporter, is a relieved man, now that the Pies are off the mark and running.

I write the blog whilst listening to four hours of Radcliffe and Maconie on 6 Music catch up. They have a feature on the programme called 'The Chain' where they play a song that is loosely connected with a previous song requested by a listener. Today's choice is a belter. 'Miss Sarajevo' is peak Bono and Pavarotti. The song is about a group of women who hold a beauty pageant, as an act of defiance, during the 'Siege of Sarajevo.'

I cook supper, the following evening, for Ms Moon and I, whilst listening to Five Live's Monday Night Club. There's a journalist on there called Rory Smith who proper winds me up. He's 'Chief Soccer Correspondent' for the New York Times. He's dead patronising about any team that's in the bottom half of the Premier League. The matey culture on MNC is annoying and cringeworthy, as the BBC competes with TalkSport for listeners. Ms Moon loves the homemade Doner kebab.

It's Tuesday teatime and I'm enjoying a pint outside at Castle Rock's Fox and Grapes with a mate, Jon, who is giving me some sound financial advice. After a couple of pints I jump on the Arnold 25 bus. I can hear my stomach rumbling as I wander into 'The Plaice' on Westdale Lane - it's the artist formerly known as Phil's Plaice. 

Carlton Town have their own fish and chip blogger called Danny Harkin. He writes reviews on Instagram and has his own column in the Northern Premier League's best programme. I stumble upon him outside the Millers clubhouse, as the sun shines like a beacon. I share with him that I've had a chippy tea. 'The Chippy Shakespeare' says 'The Plaice' can be hit or miss. It's a solid 7/10 for me. The curry sauce was a bit lumpy.

Prior to the game, Carlton chairman, Mick Garton (my boss) does a brilliant question and answer session with Danny's wife, Lyndsey Harkin, who is Nottingham Forest Ladies' captain. Lyndsey gives a great insight into the game, as well as about her time with the England squad and Doncaster Belles.

Sheffield FC are tonight's visitors to the Bill Stokeld Stadium. They are recognised by FIFA as the oldest football club in the world, having been founded in 1857. Both sets of fans have an excellent relationship.  I'm also a big fan of their manager, Ryan Cresswell, who I stood chatting with at Ponte Carlo last season. 

The feel good factor continues for the Millers as they make it two consecutive League wins in a row with goals from Romello Nangle and Alex Howes. A crowd of 229 is something the club should be proud of too, particularly for a midweek fixture in the middle of the holiday season.

On Wednesday I put in a full shift at the newsagents before jumping in a taxi outside The Greyhound, in Arnold. I hop out on Station Street and head up to Platform 6 at Nottingham train station. I've paid a £35 return fare to York. I'm met by my brother, who lives in the village of Upper Poppleton, which lies 4 miles away from the city centre. His wife makes us all some supper before we go to the pub quiz at the Lord Collingwood. We miss out on first prize by a solitary point.

I'm in York to tick a new ground off. Yorkshire CCC are playing Hampshire CCC at York Sports Club, at Clifton Park on Shipton Road. Tickets are £16 for the 50 Over One Day Cup. It's a competition that has been devalued because of 'The Hundred.' I usually boo someone if I see them with a Whackathon Skips Trent Rockets shirt on.

Prior to the game there's a minute's silence following the passing of the great TV interviewer, broadcaster and journalist, Sir Michael Parkinson. He was a colleague of my father's at the Daily Express. My Dad set up a newspaper called 'Nottingham News', in the late 70s, following the sacking of 28 journalists from the Evening Post. Parkinson wrote a column each week free of charge.

Hampshire post a respectable 311-6. Yorkshire are in all sorts of trouble at 36-7. Not many of their fans are singing 'Yarkshire' today. But then again why would you when the Club have been fined £400,000 and docked 48 points following an enquiry by the Cricket Discipline Commission over the handling of racism claims by a former player? We finish up ticking off a couple of CAMRA Heritage Pubs called Golden Ball and The Swan.

I'm dashing around again on Friday evening after another eight hour shift at the shop. I wander past Nottingham Castle and up the steps of the recently reopened Crafty Crow pub. Plenty of folk are sat inside and outside of the pub, as I order up a pint of Endless Summer from the Black Iris stable. I'm joined by Ms Moon's son Jamie.

Pantomime villains Sheffield United are in town tonight. There's a lot of bad blood between the Blades and NFFC, on and off the pitch. Their whinging, bleating Scottish manager, Paul Heckingbottom, lacked any class following a loss at The City Ground in a play-off penalty shootout.

Taiwo Awoniyi scores a brilliant opener after a pinpoint cross from Serge Aurier. Forest allow Sheff Utd back into the game. The equaliser is deserved and overdue when it finally arrives in the 48th minute. It's a stunning strike from new signing Gustavo Hamer, who recently joined from Coventry City.

The Blades cut through the Forest midfield like a knife through butter. Tricky Trees manager Steve Cooper is forced into making changes as NFFC lose their foothold in the game. Sub Ryan Yates has an immediate impact as he drives his side forward. 

A few folk behind me moan and groan as New Zealand striker Chris Wood emerges from the substitutes' bench. Little has been said about the second half performance of golden boy Morgan Gibbs-White who has fallen well below the levels expected. His shooting is skew-whiff and mistimed. It explains why he only hit the onion bag twice in open play last season.

Wood is canny and has the last laugh, scoring with a deft header, following another superb delivery from the excellent Aurier. I usually engage in conversation with visiting fans on Lady Bay Bridge, as I walk home. The visiting fans don't like it up 'em, and appear to be in a particularly foul mood on their walk back to the station.

It's FA Cup day and the Millers have a tie against Maltby Main from South Yorkshire. £1,444 is the prize-winning reward. I work a few hours at the paper shop. A baby is bawling its eyes out in a pram. I ask a customer to check on whether it's Sheff Utd manager Paul Heckingbottom still crying a river.

Ms Moon and I make the 30 minute walk down to the ground. It's £22 on the gate which includes £2 for the programme. I've written a 'Real Ale Train Trail' column for the programme of a trip I recently went on with Tony Mac to Matlock.

I visited Maltby Main back in 2009 with The Taxman. It had a huge coal mine there, back in the day. On the night in question, an alehouse clearance, from a home defender, went sailing out of the ground and landed in someone's back garden, in the old pit estate. A guy stood next to us said "You won't see that ball again, it's that rough in there, that even the police Alsation dogs hang around in pairs."

It's a proud moment for Dan, as daughter Lily, aged nearly 7 yrs old, leads the teams out. Barton the dog will have to wait for his turn. Romello Nangle opens the scoring early doors for the Millers. I've had a sportsman's bet with programme editor 'Big Joe' that Nangle will score 20 goals this season. The rest of the half is scrappy, disjointed and without a pattern of play. Carlton's first touch deserts them on several occasions.

'Casually Dan' plays the toon of the day at the break. It's Electronic's 'Getting Away With It" from back in 1989. The band consisted of Bernard Sumner (New Order) Johnny Marr (The Smiths) and Neil Tennant (Pet Shop Boys) 

The football is as dull as dishwater in the second half. Ms Moon and Edward have a long conversation about all the serial killers that have appeared in Corrie over the years. I have to pull Ms Moon away as Edward can get somewhat carried away and too involved with Coronation Street at times. I might buy them both a Granada Studios Coronation Street set tour as a Christmas present.

Two late goals from super sub Musa Jawarra puts the Millers into the draw on Monday for the First Round qualifying stage. There's a chance of a quick chat with blog legend Jitz Jani before an exciting teatime trip to Carlton Tesco, where no doubt I'll have the face on again as soon as I walk through the doors.

Attendance: 29,432 

Man of the Match: Serge Aurier 

Notts County 3-2 Grimsby Town

'Casually Dan' navigates his Mini Clubman up the A60, away from Loughborough, towards Nottingham. 'Big Joe' is riding shotgun. I'm in the back seat with Dan's daughter Lily, aged nearly 7 years old. Quorn AFC and Carlton Town will lock horns again in three days time, in an FA Cup replay at Stoke Lane. We finish the evening up at The Brickyard, a Lincoln Green watering hole up on Carlton Hill. I enjoy a pint of High Hoppage, a tropical and mango pale ale.

Ms Moon and I chillout on Sunday. I spend the afternoon knocking up the first blog of the 20th season of The Groundhopper, whilst listening to a double bill of Radcliffe and Maconie, the best radio show on Earth. The blog is well received on social media. I'm chuffed to bits as a lot of folk will be on holiday and out of the country.

It's Tuesday teatime. I've enjoyed a day off from newsagent (Norris Cole) duties. Today has been an admin day. The first call of the afternoon is to OVO, my energy supplier. I'm fully wound up with the expectation of being put on hold for an age. Amazingly the phone only rings out once before it's answered. I've recently found out, having created an online account, that we're £500 in credit. These estimated bills are a load of old tosh, aren't they? I ask for the money to be transferred into the bank.

Further success is had at Virgin Media, who also pick up an incoming call swiftly. I negotiate a new contract so I can catch the odd Premier League game, but more importantly the Champions League and other UEFA competitions.

I'm feeling quite chuffed with my day's 'work' as I alight the bus at the bottom of Hockley. I cross over the road adjacent to the Chinese restaurant, The Mandarin, formerly a pub back in the day called The Mill, which was a popular meet up place before a sesh in town.

I push open the pub front door of Keans Head, which is located in the Lace Market area of Nottingham city centre. It remains a mystery to me why this wonderful bar isn't in the CAMRA guide. Then again would you trust an organisation that's in bed with Wetherspoons and Greene King?

A couple of Lincoln City fans are settled in the corner of the pub, tucking into one of the fine curries that are flying out of the kitchen. I strike up a conversation with them. I share with the guy that I'm an Imps fan, but explain that I won't be attending tonight's League Cup tie at Meadow Lane versus Notts County. I want to see out the FA Cup replay at Carlton Town.

I receive a WhatsApp message from 'Casually Dan' who is holed up in the King Billy on Manvers Street, in Sneinton. We agree to meet for a swift one at Bunkers Hill before he picks up Lily from cheerleading classes, just around the corner at the rear of the marketplace. Dan is playing a soul DJ set prior to tonight's game. We stroll through the market past The Bath Inn. The owner, Piers Wheatcroft-Baker, is having a smoke outside. He's the son of actor Tom Baker, who played TV's Dr Who.

I part with £10 cash on the gate. DJ Murph is back from his jollies in Majorca and is manning the fort until Dan's arrival. I shout up pie, chips and peas from 'Cafe Catherine' before catching up with a few of the characters this great club throws up.

I'm joined by fellow groundhopper, Jonathan Buttery, who has also been a mate of mine for over 40 years. We used to play cricket together for Keyworth. He is also a Nottingham Forest die hard supporter. We catch up and share with one another what new grounds we are aiming to visit this season.

A decent crowd is beginning to build up, which surprises me as everyone has only really had a few days notice. Carlton start like a house on fire. The visitors struggle to contain the direct running and dribbling skills of Lamin Manneh, who they kept quiet on Saturday, until he swapped flanks.

Former Notts County midfielder Greg Tempest is pulling all the strings in the middle of the park. He was dead unlucky to be released by the Pies a few seasons ago. He was the victim of the revolving managerial door, particularly during the Ray Trew circus era. He puts the Millers ahead with a superbly executed free kick.

Quorn are world class at fouling. The referee is going to be up all night filing his match report with the FA following a flurry of cautions. Another former Pies player, Romello Nangle, puts the Millers two to the good, with a close range header. 

I pop my head into the clubhouse to see how 'The Lincoln' are doing. The Imps are in cruise control, having taken an early lead through highly-rated Irish-born defender Sean Roughan. Quorn huff, puff and foul even more in the second 45 minutes. The Carlton bench becomes frustrated that the referee isn't taking more severe action. Carlton see the game out and avoid any further injuries, following a number of Jackie Chan lunges. The £1,125 winning prize money will be a welcome addition to the club's coffers.

It's Friday morning and I'm loitering inside the West Bridgford branch of MSR Newsagents, chatting to the shopkeeper, friend and work colleague Kieran Harlow. I grab some confectionery and refreshments as a Ford Mondeo pulls up outside Eva's Grill, a Greek restaurant on Radcliffe Road, opposite Trent Bridge Cricket Club.

Drurs is giving me a lift up to Welbeck Cricket Club, which is located a few miles east of Mansfield. Nottinghamshire are playing Hampshire in the 50 over Cup. We pick up 'Horsy' in the village of Tollerton. He's in big trouble with his missus as he's broken the zip on the Fortnum and Mason pack-up bag.

We're all members of Notts CCC, so entry is free, although there is a £5 car park charge at the John Fretwell Sports Complex. It's quite high up where we are and there's a stiff breeze blowing in. Chairs are set up at pitch level and around a grass bank that forms a circle around the ground. It would be a fairly bleak setting on a winter's day, something I've experienced when scouting for the Pies.

We wash down a coffee and walnut homemade cake with a cup of weak coffee in one of the many marquees erected on the ground. Hampshire have been put into bat by Notts. My view is obstructed by a tall, overweight man, who is sporting the biggest hat in Mansfield. I suffer in silence.

Notts look to be in a good position on a slow wicket, but Nick Gubbins scores a patient 119 to see them to a total of 254. Drurs thinks they might be 100 runs short. Notts' attempt at chasing the runs down is pitiful and pathetic. I'm drinking in Junkyard with Tony Mac by 5.45 pm as Notts are rolled out for 163.

The shop is stacked out with folk on Saturday as it's a £11 million lottery rollover. I enjoy some great banter with shop manager Dave 'Chippy' Fryer. We used to have a betting syndicate 25 years ago when we both worked at Calverton Colliery. We've recently restarted the kitty again. I'm quietly confident that Leicester, D***y and Stockport can bring home the bacon today.

I dash home to catch the first half of Arsenal v Forest, only to find the game has been delayed by half an hour. The game looks all over as I switch off the TV set with the Tricky Trees already 2-0 down. I jump off the bus opposite the Ice Centre and dive into a shop for a bottle of water.

It's hosing it down with rain as I dash for cover at Meadow Lane. I chat with a supporter by the memorial wall before walking up the stairs in the Derek Pavis Stand. A lady is sat in my seat. She's somewhat affronted when I ask her to fish out her tickets.

The new sound system is spot on. The pick of the DJ set is 'I'm Not Sorry' by West Yorkshire indie band, The Pigeon Detectives. There's a lively start to the game as both teams go at one another. New signing Dan Crowley has struck up a good understanding with crowd favourite Aaron Nemane. Ironically an error by Nemane sees ex Stag Danny Rose race away before firing home the opening goal. 

On 40 minutes Langstaff sees a point-blank header beaten away by the Grimsby 'keeper. The ball is returned into the box where John Bostock flicks up the ball before blasting home a volley into the roof of the net. Incredibly Grimsby take the lead deep into stoppage time, leaving Notts supporters shaking their head in disbelief.

Gary Lund is the club's guest of honour today. He has played for both clubs. He is asked by the guy on the P.A. who he thinks will win. He turns towards the away following and apologises before saying "Notts County."

Notts are on level terms in the 48th minute after the impressive Jodi Jones' deflected shot balloons up into the air and over a stranded 'keeper. There's another moment of magic from Jones. He flicks a ball around a defender before firing in a cross that is met with a diving header from Crowley at the back post. Oh my giddy aunt, Gary Lund was right. County have come back from behind twice to grab three points.

It's not been a bad old day; there are victories for Lincoln City and Carlton Town. The icing on the cake is that club mascot 'Barton the Dog' has won 4x cans of Fosters and a box of choccies in the half time raffle up in Ponte Carlo. He can't 'arf pick 'em.

Attendance: 12,950 (2,818 visiting supporters)

Man of the Match: Jodie Jones

Quorn AFC 1-1 Carlton Town

It's early doors on Saturday morning 29th July and the time of year for my annual pilgrimage up to north of the border. I walk across Nottingham's Old Market Square and dive into Greggs where I grab a much-needed coffee and bacon cob. I then wander up St James Street and cross over Maid Marian Way as the city centre comes alive.

I loiter outside the highly reputable Laguna curry house on Mount Street. I'm joined by Notts County die-hard fans 'Faggsy' and 'Little Al.' A blue Hyundai hurtles around the corner at the top of the road. Here he is: it's 'Crazy Steve.' 

By 1 pm we're necking a pint in the Gothenburg at Prestonpans, a small mining town, eight miles east of Edinburgh. Two games in the Viaplay Cup are on our radar. Bonnyrigg Rose v Airdrie is a 3 pm kick off later today and tomorrow Dundee FC entertain Inverness Caledonian at Dens Park.

Bonnyrigg has been in my sights since Nicola Sturgeon shut down all sporting events in Scotland as Ms Moon and I pitched up in Edinburgh back in March 2020. I boo her everytime I see her on my TV set - but then again so do half of Scotland.

The social club at Bonnyrigg Rose is bustling with folk. The visitors, Airdrieonians, have a 500 strong away following. The highlight of the game is a steak and haggis pie at bargain-price £3 a pop. They are to die for, as is the wonderful old ground, with its nooks, crannies and steep grass bank that affords you an elevated view of proceedings.

The Bonnyrigg Ultras roar on their team, but their efforts are not rewarded with a goal. Airdrie settle the tie from the penalty spot. It's a drab affair that only comes alive with the singing of both sets of supporters. It's a massive tick off for Sticky Palms and straight away becomes my favourite ever Scottish ground.

We're spending the night in Burntisland. 'Crazy' drives us up the coast as we pot a few pints at pubs in Leith, Limekilns, Hillend and Aberdour. 'Crazy' has a wee dram nightcap back at the hotel, before we turn in for the evening.

After a hearty breakfast we spend Sunday morning sightseeing up the east coast. We pay our respects to darts player Jocky Wilson, a double-winning World Champion in 1982 and 1989, at Kirkcaldy Crematorium. We take in the Royal and Ancient Golf Course of St Andrews and take a peek at grounds at Raith Rovers and East Fife - there's a junior game on at the latter as some squally showers roll in from the hills.

We swing by the club shop at Dundee FC so I can collect the match tickets. I bag a baseball cap as a memento. We have three CAMRA Heritage pubs to tick off in the city centre. Two are close to the ground.  The second one is a beauty. The landlord at Frews has served time for 42 years. He takes a shine to 'Crazy Steve' and gives us both a guided tour. He has 12 leather footballs perched above the bar. They are from each team in the Scottish Premier League. Each Saturday at 5.30 pm he climbs a ladder and arranges them in the order teams are positioned in the league table.

The Bobby Wilson Stand is the only seating area open. Faggsy and I sit halfway back as Crazy and Al bask in the afternoon sunshine. We are surrounded by folk from Pennsylvania. A parent explains that their lads are on a 'soccer tour' of the U.K. I roll my eyeballs - well the one that works at least.

Inverness look quite lively but spurn too many opportunities. The introduction of Dundee's new signing Amadou Bakayoko signals a change in fortune. One goal is enough to see off the visitors. Although a winning margin of two clear goals was required for qualification to the next stage of the competition. Nobody seems particularly fussed by this.

The drive home, on Monday morning, in blustery and monsoon conditions takes over seven hours. A massive hat tip and thank you goes to 'Crazy' for driving 720 miles over three days - that's some shift.

Tuesday is spent at Notts Sports Ground in Lady Bay, a few hundred yards away from Trent Bridge Cricket Ground. Notts U18s are playing Yorkshire U18s. It coincides with call ups to the England 19s and 18s set up for Notts youngsters Farhan Ahmed, Travis Holland and Freddie McCann. At 15 years old Ahmed is the one Notts are pinning their hopes on and having watched him for two seasons, I'm also excited about him.

I chill about the house for a few days and get a few small jobs done. It's back to work and a full shift at MSR Newsagents, on Front Street, in Arnold on Friday. EuroMillions day always has the customers flocking in through the shop door.

I flop into the armchair on my return to HQ. There's some breaking news coming in from Ms Moon, who is away for the weekend in Brighton, Sussex, with her daughter Becky. They've been holed-up in a cinema all afternoon watching Barbie the Movie - I presume all the pubs don't open until late afternoon.

It's Saturday morning and my favourite day of the year. It's the Extra Preliminary Round of the FA Cup, I bolt out of the shop door at twelve bells and jump onto the 25 bus. There's a ten minute turnaround before being picked up by 'Casually Dan' in the church car park at the back of our house. In the car are Carlton Town FC programme editor and craft ale connoisseur 'Big Joe' and Dan's six year old daughter Lily. I put Lily on the spot and ask her for a score prediction. She's too coy to fall for that one, but does admit to being a massive fan of the pop band Busted.

The Carlton Massive have a fan called Danny Harkin, who writes a wonderful blog review on all the fish and chip shops he visits on his travels. He even has a column on the said subject in the Carlton programme. Danny has recommended John Dory in Quorn. 

It doesn't disappoint as we join Danny and his family as well as Jason and his lad, Jack. I have a small haddock and a kid's size portion of chips. They are delicious. Danny pens his notes for the next programme as 'Friday I'm in Love' by The Cure is played on the chippy jukebox.

The ground is a 5 minute drive away. I've been many a time when it had a lush grass surface. It saddens me that they have gone down the 3G route. It looks like it needs a refurb too. It's £10 on the gate. There's a good gathering of the flock from Carlton. It's the usual cast of characters such as 'Mad Gav', 'Miller Mouse', 'Cafe Catherine' 'Club Shop Ken' plus members of the committee such as Chairman Mick Garton and Dave Hodgson. Johnny Hand is today's roving matchday reporter as DJ Murph is on his jollies.

The DJ is spinning 'Blue Monday' by New Order - it's the U.K's biggest selling 12" single of all-time, as Dan reminds me, selling over one million copies. I've been stressing over this tie since the draw was made a few weeks ago. Quorn have a strong starting line up including four lads from Nottingham.

There has been a shift in strategy by Carlton Town FC. Some of the higher earners and old-timers have departed the club. Fresher, hungrier, younger lads have been recruited. A partnership has been formed with the inner city side Pass Move and Grin. It's a big step up for some lads, but many are flourishing  during the pre-season. It's a bold move by joint managers Tommy Brookbanks and Mark Harvey, but it's a policy I applaud and believe in.

The Millers should be 2-0 up in the first 15 minutes as I view the game with a groundhopper from Ellistown who I haven't seen in ages. Against the run of play Quorn take the lead with a worldy strike from Tyrell Shannon-Lewis. Quorn grab the game by the scruff of the neck and are unlucky not to add to their tally. 'Felix the Cat' is in fine form in the Carlton Town nets.

The Quorn DJ continues his good run by playing 'Chime' by electro-pop band Orbital as well as an old Daft Punk track. There are a few worried faces in the clubhouse as £1125 prize money is up for grabs to the winners and also a home tie against Step 5 opposition.

Tommy looks to have rallied the troops at the half time break. The Millers look more aggressive and joined up, There's a bad injury to Tyree Wilson, it sees the lively youngster stretchered off after a long delay. We wish him a speedy recovery.

It looks like it's going to be one of those days as chances go begging. Romello Nangle sees a spot kick superbly saved by the young Quorn shot stopper. With five minutes remaining Lamin Manneh skins former NFFC scholar Silivo Bello, he flicks a cross in that is met by substitute Mussa Jawara, who runs in from the blind side of a defender before hitting the onion bag. It's a well deserved equaliser, but frustrating too, for the away following, that the game couldn't be put to bed at the first time of asking.

The Carlton young guns have put on a show in the second half and hopefully the job can be completed on Tuesday evening where I had planned to watch Lincoln City away to Notts County in the League Cup. The FA Cup must come first though.

Men of the Match: Crazy Steve (720 miles), Quorn 'keeper and Casually Dan for the piloting.

Attendance: 204