Sunday, March 29, 2026

Gainsborough Trinity 0-0 Warrington Rylands


I leave Andy Carroll and KSI (who?) to their high-fiving and back slapping as I make a dash to Dagenham East train station. Anxiety kicks in when it comes to catching a train at London St Pancras, particularly on a Saturday evening, as you are penalised by the EMR Gestapo if your advance ticket doesn't correctly match the time of your departure. Remember folks, this is the company who made Nottingham Forest fans, including mothers and children, cry on their big day out at Wembley Stadium in May 2022. Hanging out their customer service staff to dry, with not a senior manager in sight. Telling angry supporters, in snaking queues, that there weren't enough trains going to London, having already taken their money.

On arrival at St Pancras, EMR create their own cock up chaos. The previous train has been cancelled to Nottingham. What should have been a breeze of a one hour thirty five minutes, three stop journey, suddenly has double the amount of passengers on board and two added stops at Bedford and Wellingborough. No train manager dares to show their face. As soon as I slump into my armchair, an hour later than expected, I fire off a delay repayment claim. Good old EMR, eh.


It could be said that Tuesday evening's game between Carlton Town and Anstey Nomads is the biggest in the Millers' history. The supporters and volunteers are ready for it. The pitch is in fine fettle, the food menu includes: Thai curry and chicken in Katsu sauce and there is a vinyl-only DJ set from Casually Dan. The groundsmen, Kelly and her mum and whoever is spinning tunes make it a fantastic supporter experience. Over 400 tip up on a filthy evening. Even Edward has video taped EastEnders and 'The Farm' on his Betamax.

I clocked, earlier in the day on the weather app, that we were to expect a wretched evening of high winds and squally showers. It will be a good toss to win. I just hope it was Anstey who chose to kick with the wind and not Carlton preferring to kick to their favourite end in the second half. I scan the team sheet and I'm surprised that club stalwarts and leaders on the pitch, Dan Brown and Niall Davie, aren't starting a game of this magnitude.


The game is over as a contest after 25 minutes. The Millers are 4-0 down and have had a defender sent off. They are blown away, not just by a gale but by a high octane display from the visitors, some of whom will feel that they have a point to prove, having been discarded for star studded ex Premier League players over recent weeks. Had it not been for 'Felix the Cat', in the nets, it could have been many more.

There is a doom and gloom about the place as the final whistle is blown. Anstey, and fair play to 'em, have managed to claw back a 12 goal difference in one evening, which could prove to be pivotal come the season end. 


I have dipped in and out watching Carlton this season, but have still caught them on 14 occasions. They are going to have to battle now and play with some heart, soul and energy. The Nomads can smell blood and will do their utmost to chase them down, as it is Anstey who now has the momentum.

I love a Wednesday afternoon shift at the shop as it usually means I'm done for four days. I head into town for a few craft scoops at my favourite bar, Junkyard. I have a couple of Salikatt DIPA New England ales called Stardust. I didn't realise, until I hit the fresh air on Weekday Cross, that this Norwegian brew was an 8% abv.


I continue my quest to visit as many CAMRA Heritage two star or three star pubs on Thursday. I bagged a bargain £20 return to Liverpool Lime Street. The only caveat is that I have five hours to complete my itinerary. On arrival at my favourite city (outside London) I wander down to Liverpool Central where I board a Merseyrail train to Southport.

I alight at Blundellsands and Crosby where I take a stroll towards pub number one of the day. Crosby is a coastal town in the Metropolitan Borough of Sefton, in Merseyside, with a population of 50,000. Notable people to have grown up or attended school in the town include: Cherie Blair, Kenny Everett and Anne Robinson, who is now dating Queen Camilla's ex-husband, Andrew Parker-Bowles.


If I thought the landlord at 'The Dagmar' (in Dagenham) was unwelcoming then the miserable sod at the Edinburgh Inn reaches another level of grumpiness. Not a word passes his lips as he pours me a pint of Tetley. It's an Edwardian pub known by locals as 'the Bug and Bite.'

I head past Marine FC's ground towards the coast where the skyline out in the Irish Sea is filled with low white clouds. I can see the 100 cast-iron life-size figures sculptured by Antony Gormley that emerge on Crosby Beach, when it's low tide. Crows Nest is a popular community pub that has a bar, snug and lounge. There's time to visit The Vines, on Lime Street, for a quick jar before catching the 5 pm train home.


I spend an hour down my favourite all-time pub, 'The King Billy', in Sneinton, on Friday teatime. There are quite a few teachers huddled in the corner cheerily celebrating a two week end of term break, I enjoy a pint of Taj from Little Brewing, in Derby and one of their crafts too.

I rustle up tea as Ms Moon and I discuss plans for next week. We've had a win on Wednesday's National Lottery drawdown. We buy tickets for a critically-acclaimed play called Punch and book a table for two at one of our favourite restaurants, Raymonds, in Nottingham city centre. I'm under the cosh in April as both the lads at the shop are taking some time off, so I'll have to step up to the plate, including manning my Easter egg stall outside, on Front Street, in Arnold.


It's Saturday morning and I'm excited for the day ahead. I'm off to a chippy near Gainsborough that's rated highly by the fish and chip fraternity. I've arranged to meet Matt Limon at Lidl in Netherfield. I need some dollar first as the chippy might be 'cash only.' The bloody cashpoint at Tesco Carlton is usually out of order. I'm already spitting feathers at that thought as I see an elderly gentleman gesticulate and throw his arms up in the air. "It's not working mate", he says. "A bit like the staff", I josh.

Greatest Hits is on the car radio as we head towards the A46. Limon loves a bit of midweek PopMaster on the Ken Bruce Show. He posts on Facebook every time he gets a maximum score of 39 points. He's also a big fish and chip aficionado, as is Carlton Town supporter, Danny Harkin.


Upton's chippy, est 1948, has one of the last remaining coal-fired ovens. Fish and chips are fried in beef dripping. The shop is only open six and a half hours per week. There are already over 20 people queuing when we roll up at just gone midday. The half an hour wait includes lots of lip-licking and salivating. A scrumptious lunch is eaten on a wooden seat in the village. It's washed down with an Elderflower Blonde from the Saltaire stable at the Sweyn Forkbeard, in Gainsborough town centre.

If I had to name my top ten Non League grounds then The Northolme would be in it. Matt is immediately impressed. It's £13 on the gate which includes a seat in the Ping Stand - the golf club manufacturer is based in the town.


The game doesn't really live up to the billing as both clubs chase a play-off spot. The DJ is playing what he likes (as he should) it's mainly a rock set which includes Jimi Hendrix. The second half is much better. Both teams hit the woodwork and the keepers are kept busy. A draw is a fair result. 

I anxiously check the full time score at Stoke Lane. The Millers lose their third consecutive League game, this time to lowly Loughborough Students, who they easily brushed aside earlier in the season. The heat is on as Anstey have rolled over Basford Utd, who Carlton visit on Tuesday evening in a Notts Senior Cup semi-final. The lads are going to need all the support they can, right now. Sticky Palms doesn't do 3G, but he will be doing on Tuesday!


Attendance: 712

Player of the Match: Upton's Chippy

Best Record Heard of the Radio This Week: Stampede, by Genesis Owusu

Best Ale Supped This Week: Cheat Code, by Soma, Girona, Spain.

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