Denaby Main 1-1 South Elmsall United Services

It's Tuesday lunchtime and I'm on duty at Nottinghamshire's number one paper shop. It's a wee bit quiet as it has been caning it down with rain. One of the regulars comes through the door, at first, I thought, to shelter from the inclement weather. The lady rummages around in her handbag. She opens her purse and hands over a couple of lottery tickets without saying a word. The first is a Lucky Dip winner, the second comes up with a message on the terminal which says 'please ring the National Lottery hotline.'

I relay this instruction to the customer as my heart starts to beat ten to the dozen. I check the winning numbers from the previous draw, that was held on Saturday evening. The customer's ticket matches five out of six numbers that were drawn. The number that doesn't match on her ticket is 12. What makes it worse is that it's 11 that has come out. How unlucky is that? £1,700 isn't a bad return for a £2 stake. The lady leaves the shop smiling like a Cheshire cat.

I lock up the shop at closing time and head down Front Street towards one of Lincoln Green's flagship pubs, Robin Hood and Little John. I enjoy a couple of pints of real ale with 'Red Dog Roly.' He's just returned from a groundhopping trip to Cork City, in Ireland. He's off to Italy this weekend to tick a few more grounds off. I spend Tuesday evening following the Mighty Millers on the excellent Bradford Park Avenue twitter feed. It appears as if Carlton Town are under the cosh. They travel back from West Yorkshire with a hard-earned point.

Thursday is the beginning of three days off. I scan the listings at Broadway Cinema, in Hockley, Nottingham, where for a £35 annual membership I receive up to 50% discount. I clock a French 1960 crime thriller called Purple Noon, starring international sex symbol Alain Delon, who recently passed away at the age of 88. Two hours running time passes in the blink of an eye.

I wander through the city centre towards one of Castle Rock's finest hostelries, the VAT and Fiddle, which also doubles up as a music venue. There appears to have been a fallout between the 'Beer Gestapo' (CAMRA) and Nottingham's largest brewer, as the Newshouse is the only city centre CR entry in the recently published CAMRA guide.

I chew over the fat with Crazy Steve for an hour or so. The busiest man in the world (Steve) has recently returned from a city break in Krakow. We move on for some tea at the Trent Bridge Inn, adjacent to the home of Notts CCC. The reason for being in this area of West Bridgford is that it's the opening night of the Notts Cricket Lovers' Society.

I handover £15 to the secretary as we enter the Long Room - this covers off seven guest speaker evenings to be held over the winter months. The first half an hour is a talk by one of the club's historians, Steve Lemottee, about Notts' County Championship winning side of 1929, which included the legendary fast bowlers Harold Larwood and Bill Voce - it would be another 52 years before Notts were to win another title.

Former Derbyshire, Durham and Notts batsman John 'Animal' Morris is the main speaker. His stories are so interesting and amusing. He was playing in the infamous Warwickshire v Durham game, held at Edgbaston, back in 1994, when Brian Lara scored 501 runs. Morris, coincidentally, scored a double century in the same game and bowled the ball to Lara that saw him pass 500.He's best known for flying in a Tiger Moth plane with David Gower during an Ashes tour game in Australia. Following the incident, he was never to represent his country again.

I breakfast at YOLK on Friday morning. I adore their woodland mushrooms and poached eggs on sourdough bread, that's toasted - bloody hell I sound like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Today's jaunt is because I've further unfinished business in Sheffield.

The train journey is only an hour. I've six pubs on my radar. I begin at Head of Steam and end at an independent brewhouse called Perch, who have a selection of ales on the bar from Dead Parrot. In between I mooch around the city centre admiring the street art and landmarks. I phone ahead of arrival back at HQ to see if Ms Moon fancies a dirty kebab from the Carlton Fryer. I get the green light. There's way too much to eat. Thank the Lord we only indulge every now again.

We enjoy a lie-in on Saturday morning. I'm under pressure tonight, in the kitchen as ,I've promised I'll attempt to cook Korean fried chicken. I pop into Tesco to buy some ingredients. I return with my sanity still intact.

Ms Moon has some wheels that have come with her new job. It means we can tick off a few grounds that are awkward to get to, with no train station or a limited bus service. Mark Goodier is on the Pick of the Pops show on Radio 2 - jeez, this guy could put a glass eye to sleep. At least 'Gambo' and Steve Wright had some funny anecdotes to accompany the retro sounds from days gone by.

There's a CAMRA Heritage Pub that Ms Moon has kindly agreed to drive to, that's only a few miles away from the ground where we'll be watching a game today. The Coach and Horses, at Barnburgh, is a belter. It was built in the 1930s and has hardly been altered since. I down a pint from the Don Valley Brewery before we head out to Dearne Valley Leisure Centre so I can take a snap of the old colliery winding wheel.

Ms Moon fancies a Maccies. As we queue for the junk food, events take a turn for the worse when the Radio McDonald's DJ plays Rewind by Craig David. We park outside the Denaby and Cadeby Miners Welfare Club. We squeeze through the red-painted turnstile as the players emerge from the changing rooms to the Match of the Day theme tune.

I fall in love with the ground immediately. It has the village church as a backdrop and has two covered stands on both sides of the ground. It is fully railed with hard-standing around the perimeter. Opposite the dugouts is a very smart, modern clubhouse.

The visitors, from up the road at South Elmsall, look slick from the off and begin the game well. A smart finish early doors puts them one to the good. We're stood near the visitors' bench, and surrounded by their supporters. They hurl a torrent of abuse at the man in black as a free-kick is awarded to Main. To our delight a looping header ends up in the back of the onion bag. The guy standing adjacent to us serves up a series of foul-mouthed volleys aimed at the official - "balded-head see you next Tuesday" and "you mong" are among many. The thicko is unperturbed that he's surrounded by impressionable young children. Had I been on my own, I'd have had it out with the Herbert.

'Thicko' and his entourage have moved across to the other side of the ground, as the players enter the field of play to the Northern Soul classic "Do I Love You?" by Frank Wilson. Things go from bad to worse for the visitors. There's a straight Red followed by a second Yellow card that reduces them to 9 players. I can see 'Our Man' on the far side gesticulating in another fit of pique. The comments coming from South Elmsall's bench are vile and disgusting. The more abuse that is hurled at the official the less decisions go their way - that's how dim they are.

Denaby Main don't react to the change in circumstances. Tactically they fall short, failing to take advantage of having an extra two men. The remaining nine players, despite their ill discipline, battle and work hard when concentrating on the game. There's a comedy moment when their 'keeper kisses his girlfriend whilst retrieving the ball. They deserve their point; it'll feel like a win. God help them though when the referee's match report lands on the desk of the Sheffield and Hallamshire FA on Monday morning,