Sunday, November 12, 2023

Gedling Miners Welfare 3-3 Radford FC


It's an early exit from the FA Cup for Lincoln City. They are well beaten by the Shrimpers from Morecambe. We troop out of Sincil Bank towards the railway station. Julian, the Morecambe fan, is grinning like a Cheshire cat, as his team will be in the hat for tomorrow's draw. Wycombe away is a poor reward. I probably won't ever speak to him again. He poses for a '2-1' photo on the train home before alighting the train with Dean Gripton at Lowdham Station. I wish Julian well, through gritted teeth.

It's Monday evening and I'm pouring a can of session craft ale from Azvex Brewery, who are based in Liverpool. I flick on the TV set and scroll through the channels. Tottenham Hotspur v Chelsea is the game of choice tonight. I stay gripped in my armchair for 111 minutes  as the teams play out a spine-tingling game of football. There are 25 shots, 5 disallowed goals, 7 bookings and 2 red cards. 


It's Tuesday evening and I've just finished the Dolly Parton eight hour shift at the shop. It's Euromillions day and I'm out on my feet, as I loiter at the bus stop on High Street, in Arnold town centre. The chuffing bus is late again. It's half an hour before another one rolls up.

I stand outside The Willowbrook pub, in Gedling, with Carlton Town official photographer Lou Lardi. A Skoda estate pulls up. It's DJ Murph, also known as 'Chief Wiggum' on the fans' WhatsApp group. Clubshop Ken completes the quartet.


We're driving out towards the village of Collingham, which lies on the edge of the Notts/Lincs border. The Mighty Millers are pitting their wits against Newark and Sherwood in the Notts Senior Cup. There's a drop-your-bacon-sandwich moment when 'Wiggum' confesses to being a big fan of the reality TV show I'm a Celeb, presented by those pair of Herberts, Ant 'n Dec. It knocks me for six to be honest. I try to concentrate on 'Bela Lugosi's Dead' by Bauhaus, that's playing on the car radio, whilst coming to terms with Murph's confession.

The chippy is mobbed with folk; most of whom wear the yellow and blue scarves of Carlton Town. The hard-working staff are rushed off their feet. There's the added pressure of the presence of famous fish and chip reviewer, Danny Bhoy. Fish is cooked to order and doesn't disappoint. The locals are miffed as queues snake out of the door.


It's £6 on the gate. I dive straight into the bar as temperatures plummet. It's good to see a couple of real ales on draught, including one from the Beermats stable who are located in Newark. 35-40 supporters have made the trip from Carlton. I clock a pasty-looking 'Casually Dan' who has recently returned from a three day drinking binge (his stag) in Budapest.

The Millers are in cruise control and coast to victory. The second goal is comedy gold. I'm walking out of the clubhouse with MSR colleague and friend, Kieran Harlow. I ask a guy if the score is still 1-0 as Alex Hardwick pulls the trigger, firing a shot like a tracer bullet into the roof of the net. Hardwick runs to the travelling support, to be met with a shower of steaming hot chocolate, topped with marshmallow, courtesy of 'Casually Dan.' It's a good night for Millers' commercial manager Gary Clarke and his dog Gizmo. They've won a tin of sweets in the raffle.


I love my days off and always put them to good use. I get good value from my Broadway Cinema membership. There's a matinee showing of Killers of the Flower Moon, the latest blockbuster from the American filmmaker, Martin Scorsese. Its running time is longer than the Spurs v Chelsea game. Actually it's 100 minutes longer than the said game. It starts and finishes in the blink of an eye. Robert De Niro gives a masterclass in how to be manipulative and cunning.

I've time to kill and a rumbling tummy. I stroll up Broad Street and turn through the doors of the award-winning, trendy eatery, Bohns Best Burgers. I hoover up a peanut butter jelly double smash patty burger, topped with Shropshire blue Stilton and pickled gherkins.


I wander up past my second home, the railway station. before crossing the tramline and heading up through the Meadows area of Nottingham. I'm meeting up with a few mates I haven't seen in a while. I'm not a big fan of the Waterside Bar, a stone's throw away from the 'World Famous City Ground.' It's owned by the Red Cat Company, whose CEO is ex Greene King. So imagine my surprise, on arrival, to be told there's no real ales on. Thankfully the company is better than the watering hole. 'The Mayor of Keyworth', 'Chopper Harris', 'Soup', 'Beef', 'Barthez' and 'Jenko.' are all on fine form.

We finish up in a 'Spoons called the Trent Bridge Inn, adjacent to the cricket ground, as it's the only pub still open. It's where I had my 21st birthday party, upstairs, back in 1985. Lincoln City played out a 0-0 draw, the following day, versus D***y County. I was literally spewing all day. I don't do 0-0s.


I rise early on Friday morning. I didn't arrive home until 12.30 am the previous evening. I'm back at the train station on Platform 1A where the 11.17 Northern service to Leeds is set to leave. Another day has been mapped out by Tony Mac. Today it's Chesterfield, the birthplace and final resting place of George Stephenson, renowned as the "Father of the Railways.

"We've already ticked off a couple of CAMRA entries in the town centre as we begin to head out to the famous 'Brampton Mile.' An eagle-eyed Mac spots Brampton Brewery. Not only do we receive a lovely, warm welcome from the lady behind the bar, but she also very kindly draws us out a map of the area with recommendations on the best pubs to visit.


We both agree on a 7.15 cut off time as we need to catch the train to Ilkeston as there is a CAMRA pub called The Dewdrop, a short walk from the station, that we've been dying to visit for ages. It's just our luck that on arrival we find that the pub is closed for cellar work. Stranded and nowhere near the town centre, we have no option other than to order an Uber into Nottingham.

I enjoy a lie-in on Saturday morning. I'm treating Ms Moon to lunch at Tamasha, on Mapperley Tops. It's an Asian fusion restaurant which serves delicious sizzling grilled food and speciality tapas. The staff are first-class and the food is high in quality. We have fishcakes, lamb chops and smoked garlic mushrooms.  


Dessert is the United Counties Division One League local derby between Gedling Miners Welfare and Radford FC. It's £5 on the gate. Radford FC 'Director of Football', Big Glenn Russell, isn't best pleased to see me. I'm greeted with "What are you doing here Jonah?" I promise to fire over £25 for a speaker's evening with Hull City legend Dean Windass, that's being held at the end of the month.

We observe a minute's silence for Remembrance Day. I think of my granddad. The game gets off to a flier with the visitors fortunate not to be behind after ten seconds. I try to do a quick circuit of the ground, but keep bumping into people that I know. Faggsy, Chris Widdowson, Roberto and Edward and John Hartstone are all in attendance.


Radford take the lead with a stunning goal from university student James Reynolds. The Miners quickly and deservedly equalise shortly after. On the stroke of half time Jevin Seaton hits a worldy strike from 25 yards out to put the visitors 2-1 up.

We're joined by The Hartstones and Faggsy for the second half. The game is overshadowed by Ms Moon and Edward constantly chinwagging about the TV soaps. I've a good mind to call the referee over so he can show them both a red card. Apparently the cafe in EastEnders has burnt down. It'll just be another fraudulent insurance claim for Ian Beale. Next time I'll bring them a copy each of the magazine Inside Soap from the shop, so they can both pore over it at half-time in the clubhouse.


On the pitch, two strikes by substitute Zac Hill have put Gedling MW 3-2 up. Radford have another goal in them. A free kick is expertly clipped into the box where it skims off the head of Conor Moore and into the roof of the net.It's been a pulsating game of football, with no quarter given. On reflection a draw is a fair result, although the Miners have twice hit the woodwork. 

The bush telegraph is reporting a 6-0 drubbing for Snowflake FC, dished out by the Keyworth United Green Army. A 16 year old kid, who plays for the badge, has bagged 4x goals. The seafood restaurants and champagne bars on The Avenue, in Bread 'n Lard Island, will be as quiet as a mouse this evening, as the senior team have also been defeated by bottom-placed Sandiacre Town. 

Attendance: 170 

Man of the Match: Robert De Niro

Credit photos: Steve McKeown and Nigel Harlow. Thank you.

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