I'm in Tory Mansfield. I repeat this through gritted teeth. Tory Mansfield. A town betrayed and decimated by the Conservatives during the 1980s and 1990s, with the closure of coal mines and the associated supply chain. Those Tories should club together and build a statue of MP Ben Bradley. He overcame a Labour majority of 5,000 to win the seat in 2017. The majority vote was over 16,000 in the 2019 General Election. For 31 consecutive years Labour's Alan Meale served as the town's MP. Add to this the 40,000 Herberts in the town who voted 'Leave' in the BREXIT referendum - almost two and a half the number who voted 'Remain.'
I want to really dislike Mansfield as I alight an EMT at the station at 2 pm on a Tuesday afternoon. I've seen plenty of run-ins and battles with the Stags and my team, Lincoln City, over the years. They used to have this manager called David Flitcroft (brother of Blackburn Rovers' Garry Flitcroft). Not sure, out of the two of 'em, who looked in the bedroom mirror the most.
'Flickers' was rough around the edges, a blunt, to the point, northerner. He didn't take too kindly to the track-suited Essex PE teacher(s) Cowley brothers at Lincoln City, during an epic head-to-head promotion tussle a few years ago. I remember 'Flickers' and Nicky Cowley being pulled apart at Sincil Bank at the end of a bad-tempered Auto Windscreens cup clash.
'Flickers' proper fancied himself on the touchline. He used to dress like the man from Burtons Menswear, Often sporting a three quarter length rain mack. On this blog I used to refer to him as 'Gene Hunt' the 70s copper from the brilliant BBC police drama series 'Life on Mars.' He'd chew gum furiously and act dead hard. I still laugh out loud when I remember the Imps scoring a last ditch 93rd minute equaliser to edge us closer to the League Two title. It was even funnier that I was sat on my hands in the home singing section.
I'm not here for 'The Lincoln.' 'Cup Fever' is sweeping through the town of Carlton, east of Nottingham, where Sticky Palms and Ms Moon reside. Don't accuse me of jumping on the bandwagon. I watched them in every round of the Notts Senior Cup last season, only to miss them winning the final, due to it being played at Basford United and on 3G. Petty, I know.
I've invested in a season ticket to watch the Millers this season. Despite a poor run of form since the turn of the year, I've enjoyed every moment and made some really good friends too, who are like-minded proper Non League folk too.
I have a sweep around the train station, spotting for any lurking squadron members of the 'Stags Baby Squad' - school isn't due to finish for an hour. I head to Field Mill to buy a ticket for tonight's Notts Senior Cup semi-final. Some buffoon at the club has said there will be crowd segregation (we're expected to bring 40 fans lol). I moan about this ludicrous decision with the ticket office lady as I part with £3 to sit in 'H' Block - not to be confused with the Maze Prison in Northern Ireland where terrorists were locked up during the Troubles in the 70s.
I head up town for a mooch about. There are some lovely buildings and a stunning railway viaduct. I actually quite like the place. It has some character. I flick the 'V' sign at Ben Bradley's constituency office window, as I head up Church Street. Pathetic and childish, but I get the same buzz after a similar incident in Nottingham, a few weeks back, as I wandered past the office of Department for Work and Pensions, following an unsuccessful application for Job Seekers Allowance (beer money). At least I haven't Ms Moon here to chastise me and clip me round the earhole.
Tony Mac has said the Brown Cow pub on Ratcliffe Gate is a must-visit. Once again the real ale aficionado is spot on. There are eight cask ales available and a range of craft beers. The lad behind the bar, like most folk in Mansfield, is warm and friendly. I don't ask him if he voted BREXIT. I have a chocolate and cherry mild and an ale from Belper Brewing Company.
Darkness now descends upon the deserted streets of the town, as I head back towards the station and the Railway Inn, with the 'Carlton 40' expected to tip up anytime soon. I hoover up a homemade steak and onion pie and wash it down with an ale from the Full Mash stable from Stapleford, in Notts.
The lads arrive in dribs and drabs. Some have driven, others are on the train. Blog favourites 'Murph' 'DJ Dan' 'Big Joe' and 'Nige' have all clocked in. We make the short walk to Field Mill and congregate in the Sandy Pate Bar - named after the legendary Stags defender who made over 400 appearances for the club in the 1960s and 1970s.
Gary 'Boatsy' Clarke, Carlton's tireless Commercial and Marketing Manager, heads upstairs with the 'Prawn Sandwich Brigade' for a bird's eye view of the proceedings, whilst we are ushered into the notorious 'H' Block. Over 500 fans are in attendance, which is to be applauded on a fresh and breezy evening.
Nigel Clough is certainly taking the game seriously, with the likes of George Maris, Ollie Clarke, Jordan Bowery and on-loan NFFC defender Riley Harbottle, first team regulars at some point, all in tonight's starting line-up. Word up is that last year's loss to Carlton didn't go down too well upstairs. There is little expectation from the travelling contingent after a poor run of form since Christmas.
The Mighty Millers play the opposition off the park in the first half. Chance after chance are created, with shots whistling wide of goal or blazed over the bar. Shortly before the break, Carlton are awarded a spot-kick. The Club's leading January goalscorer, 'keeper Mikey Emery, makes no mistake from the spot. The 'Carlton 40' go mental.
I was expecting a bit of homegrown Alvin Stardust at the break ('the Mansfield Elvis'). But there's no sign of 'My Coo Ca Choo' on the Stags DJ set list. The lads and lasses are all back in Sandy Pate's sinking a few more scoops and enjoying the moment.
The Stags come out of the traps and soon restore parity. The Millers still impress as the young Stags begin to tire. Carlton defend for their lives and throw bodies on the line. The 'Mansfield Baby Squad' have finally turned up and have congregated in 'G' Block. Some good-natured banter commences. "Take your scarves and f**k off home" is as good as they can muster from the school playground.
The game goes straight to penalties.Mikey Emery scores another from the spot - the third penalty he has put past the same 'keeper this month (a young lad who was loaned out to Long Eaton United). All eyes are focussed on Alex Howes who needs to score the 5th penno to win the game. It hits the inside of the post and rolls into the back of the net. There are wild scenes of celebration and jubilation in 'H' Block. Grown men (and women) hug one another, some are in tears. I wipe the steam off my glasses.
The 'Baby Squad' make a hasty exit with "take your scarves and f**k off home" ringing in their ears as the Mighty Millers fans twirl their yellow and blue scarves above their heads. A Dad and two lads boot the shelter we are standing in at the train station as they pass us by. We all just laugh out of pity. Some of us neck a pint back at The Railway as the EMT is delayed by 15 minutes.
Tweet of the night is sent by 'DJ Dan.' it says "Keith Curle, Sandy Pate, Liam Lawrence, and Colin Calderwood ... your lads took one hell of a beating." Ben Bradley, Alvin Stardust and Rebecca Adlington are soon added to the list.
Man of the Match: All 11 of them.
Attendance: 545
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