Notts County 3-2 Milton Keynes Dons

 

A far post tap-in by the Heather St John's centre forward completes a five-goal rout for the visitors. My jinx on the Pheasants continues. They exit the third round of the FA Vase. Big Glenn and 'ASBO' won't be wining, dining and troughing at Club Wembley, when the final is played there in May. It will probably be Stabbo away instead.

I pull the peak of my baseball cap down to cover my eyes and lift the collar up on my coat. I don't want to catch any committee members' gaze. I exit onto Selhurst Street, where I wander past Curry King and onto Radford Road. I dodge the crawling traffic as I cross over the tramlines.  I was going to have a couple of scoops at the Lion, in Basford. I decide at the last minute to jump on a tram that's heading in town.

It's complete chaos in Nottingham city centre. It's a mixture of late night shoppers and afternoon revellers. The crowds thin out slightly as I drop down into hipster Hockley. I enjoy a couple of alcoholic beverages at Partizan Tavern, a micropub just around the corner from Nottingham's Motorpoint Arena. I'm tucked up in bed by 9.30 p.m. as I'm on 'media duties' on Sunday from 5-2 and 12 hours the following day.

It's Tuesday morning and I'm on another 8 hour shift at Arnold's number one papershop - MSR Newsagents. It's a big day for customers who own TV sets, as the Christmas schedules are published today. Arnold's elderly residents will be coming into the shop, in their droves, to pick up a copy of the What's on TV magazine or TV Choice. I have to explain to each and every one of them that it's a double price issue as it covers off two weeks' of terrestrial and satellite TV listings. I'm worn out (mentally) when I close the door at 5 pm.

One of my best mates, from back in the day, has flown in from Spain, where he resides now, to catch up with his family and friends prior to the Christmas festivities. Ian Driver ('Babs') is also a big Notts County fan. I ring up the Meadow Lane ticket office and secure a couple of seats in the Derek Pavis Stand for the visit of MK Dons.

Babs is lurking in a shop doorway on Lister Gate. I've just wandered down from the Cornerhouse area of town, having just devoured a salami pizza from Slice 'n Brew on King's Walk. We snake our way through Green Heart, a public green space that's been created as part of the gateway to the city centre which begins at the railway station and leads to the bus station. It's certainly a better visitor experience than say 15 years ago. The blot on the landscape, the remains of Broad Marsh Centre, is still stinking the place out. Nottingham's Labour City Council have made a pig's ear out of that demolition and have had to go cap in hand to both a Labour and Tory government.

We're sat in our seats before the keepers emerge from the tunnel for their warm-ups. The DJ plays a track from Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures 1979 album that takes me by surprise. The Pies midfield is paper thin this evening. Robertson, Palmer and Hall are all notable by their absence. Big spending Franchise FC name a star-studded line up. Their Grand Fromage is 33 year-old forward, Nathaniel Mendez-Laing. It's ridiculous that he's dropped down to this level. He has followed their likeable manager, Paul Warne, from across the cattle grid at Derby County. He fires the visitors into an early lead having been slipped in by Paterson.

Twenty six minutes in and it's 2-2. You can't take your eyes off the game. Dennis equalised with a thunderbolt from distance, only to see Mendez-Laing score a Panenka penalty. An alert Jatta pounced on a 50 pence back header to restore parity.

Former County wing back. Aaron Nemane, is a lucky lad not to receive a second yellow card after a late tackle. The Kop End vent their anger at a sub-standard official as the half-time whistle is blown. Nemane doesn't appear for the second half. The Kop hurl abuse at another former player, Dan Crowley, who turns a deaf 'un as he warms up from the bench near to the home end.

Milton Keynes dominate for large periods of play in the second half, but see chances go begging. The Magpies have their opportunities too. On 88 minutes a goalkeeping faux pas and a goalmouth scramble sees the ball fall to Huddersfield Town loanee, Tom Iorpenda. He shoots home through a gap the size of an eye of a needle to send the home fans into wild celebrations. Even I am on my feet, clenching my fist and punching the air. Babs is loving it. I give him a hug on London Road, wish him a merry Christmas and say we must do the same again next year.

The Notts County manager, Martin Paterson, gives honest, insightful interviews post-match. We call him Fagin in the shop, as he looks like the scary Dickens character from Oiver Twist. I wouldn't want to cross him, as I think you'd feel the wrath of his tongue, like the fourth official did the previous evening. I just hope he can bring a couple of players in during the next window.

I swing by town on Thursday afternoon to do some Christmas shopping. I need a few bits for myself too. Word on the street is that Santa isn't buying Sticky any books for Christmas. I bag the 2026 Good Beer Guide from Waterstones and a diary so I can plan all my beer trips, groundhopping and weekends away, now I'm not working so many Sundays. I retire to Junkyard, a craft ale bar on Bridlesmith Walk. They have some mouth-watering ales chalked up on the blackboard. I have a couple of strong ones from Rivington Brewery, located in the north-west of England, near Preston, and a brewery from Barcelona called Doskiwis.

Tesco Carlton is visited on my way home. The temporary staff hired for December are actually more approachable than the Herberts on full-time contracts. The resident DJ on Radio Tesco is taking the rise when he spins 'Feels Like Heaven' by Fiction Factory. I'd have popped a BP pill if I'd got one in my pocket.

I'm at Nottingham train station by 7.15 a.m. on Friday. It's Tony Mac's and Sticky's final trip of the year and of course it's oop north. We catch the train to Newark Castle, take a steady walk across the town to Newark Northgate station, before boarding an LNER high speed train. Within 75 minutes we are alighting at Darlington, in County Durham. We grab a 'bacon bun' from a local bakery and then head up, by train, to Bishop Auckland.

There's a statue of Stan Laurel in the town and a Wetherspoon pub called Stanley Jefferson (his real name). Stan, who was born in Ulverston, was educated in Bishop Auckland, where his father was born. I'm also impressed that the local football club has a museum and club shop situated in the town. We tick off a few pubs before returning to Darlington to continue our pub crawl. The locals make us feel so welcome and are keen to recommend hostelries that aren't in the beer guide. We catch the 7pm train back home with another 10x pubs ticked off.

I'm outside the shop, on the Christmas chocolate stall, early on Saturday morning. The footfall isn't quite as busy as I thought it would be. We'll try again next Friday in the lead up to Christmas. I jump on the 25 bus and alight on Mapperley Top. I presumed, having rested their pitch on Tuesday evening, that Gedling Miners' Welfare have given the green light for their game against Clifton All Whites to go ahead today.

I stand with Faggsy and Carlton's media guy, Ben, who is here with his lad Jonah. We witness a 2-2 thriller. It would have been harsh for either side to finish on the losing side. I can't 'arf pick 'em this week.

Attendance: 8,872

Man of the Match: Tom Iorpenda

Best Record Heard on the Radio This week: Hercules and Love Affair, Someone Else is Calling

Best Real Ale Supped This Week: Cirrus, Trig Brewery, York

Hucknall Town 3-3 Carlton Town

A two week break in Tenerife was just what the doctor ordered. The day before I flew out I took in Notts County v Harrogate Town, which turned out to be a very entertaining 1-1 draw. The Magpies equalised in stoppage time through a Matthew Dennis penalty kick. I admired Harrogate's siege mentality. They nearly pulled it off,

Wayne, our taxi driver, picked us up at 3 a.m. the following day. We were at our apartment in the resort of Los Cristianos by 11 o'clock. Ms Moon's daughter and brother arrived on Monday, so we had a few heavy evening sessions. We enjoyed a late lunch in the harbour at La Caleta, where, if you're lucky, you can bag a window seat, so you gaze at the Atlantic Ocean, whilst eating your freshly caught fish accompanied with a bottle of local white wine.

On the first Saturday of the holiday Liverpool were playing Nottingham Forest in a 3pm kick off. I took a 5 km stroll up the coast to Costa Adeje to watch the match with Bish and Adrian (a Liverpool fan). We'd agreed to meet at McGuires, an Irish Bar. I wasn't so keen myself as I knew it would be full of Irish Liverpool fans. The place was packed, so we settled into a bar called Unique. Forest played the Scousers off the park. Adrian got the monk on and wouldn't pose for a photo at the end of the match following a 3-0 drubbing.

Ms Moon and I spend the rest of the holiday walking, reading, drinking red wine and playing cards (Rummy) on the balcony. If you're asking I won 85-75 at cards, but did manage to lose 12 games in a row, Luckily I wasn't drinking gin at the time, otherwise the card table would have been tipped over. I enjoy my annual 30 years of no smoking ciggie.

I only took in one football game as I didn't fancy being stranded in some remote village up in the mountains. CD Marino thrashed UD Tenisca, from  La Palma, 5-1. I sing 'easy easy easy' as we exit the stadium. It was quite a bad tempered game with the away coach sent off shortly before half time, as well as two unused subs being shown a yellow card by an overzealous official.

I managed to read three books whilst I was away. Renegade, the autobiography of The Fall lead singer, Mark E Smith, was the pick of the bunch - thanks for the tip Alan Murphy. Smith had me in stitches with his forthright views and cutting, deadpan humour. He (Smith) also recommended three must-reads by Les Dawson, Malcolm Allison and a book called No Retreat, a Secret War, that's about anti-fascists outing the far right. All three are ordered on eBay.

We arrive home in wintry conditions on Sunday evening. Ms Moon gets stuck into Strictly and I'm a Celeb. I listen to music and read before turning in, as I'm back on Media duties tomorrow.

It's Wednesday evening and I've just locked the shop up. I jump on the 25 Nottingham bus that goes via Mapperley Top, an area well known for its eateries. I've hammered the Plains Fish Bar over the years whilst on groundhopping travels. I go upmarket and plump to have tea at The Old Flower Shop, where Ms Moon and I have breakfast on occasions. 

OFS is doing a roaring trade already and it's only teatime. Its evening menu serves up British and Mediterranean classics. I opt for a gammon steak with two fried eggs and some French fries. It goes down a treat. Johnny Hand has very kindly agreed to take me to tonight's Notts Senior Cup tie between Hucknall Town and Carlton Town. The rush hour traffic is clogging up the roads around inner city Nottingham. Nonetheless we arrive in good time at the RM Stadium.

It's £8 on the turnstile. I don't inquire about concessionary rates. The Carlton fans are congregated in the bar. I sit with Morecambe supporter Julian Wilson (not the horse-racing commentator) and local photographer Steve Mack, who is a diehard Tranmere Rovers fan, as well as being a bloody good snapper of footy action.

It's a fast-paced game, both teams play without fear. The Millers fluff their lines in front of goal and go into the break a goal down. Hucknall look lively on the break, with both Ashurst and Coyle impressing the judges. The game turns on its head early in the second half. Carlton's Shea Thompson-Harris takes one for the team and is shown a straight red card for handling the ball on the line. The resulting spot-kick cannons off the crossbar.

The Carlton Cattermole (Sticky's favourite) equalises with 20 minutes remaining as the Millers look to tighten their screw on the game. Hucknall score two very well worked goals. The Millers have bags of character and never give up the ghost. Chambers and then Clarke make it 3-3. The home keeper produces two incredible saves that defy belief. The visitors win on penalties 5-4. There's a huge sigh of relief. Hucknall have been magnificent too. I must visit again soon as there are some good people over there who make you feel welcome.

Thursday evening is spent with the Notts Cricket Lovers Society, in the Derek Randall Suite, at Trent Bridge Cricket Ground. The first guest speaker is Paul Harrison, who has been the dressing room attendant since 2015. He has a few amusing anecdotes to tell that usually include Luke Fletcher or Samit Patel and Paul also gives us an insight of the mindset and expectation of touring teams from Australia and India. Former New Zealand Test cricketer and current coach of The Blaze, Craig Cumming rounds off another excellent evening down the Bridge.

I venture out to Newark-on-Trent on Friday lunchtime - even EMR can't muck that trip up. There's a new entry in the 2026 Good Beer Guide called Loose Cannon. It's a rather odd looking pub that's struggling with its identity. It has posh, expensive food and a pint of Bass weighs in at £5.20 (ouch!). I enjoy it much more across the road at Just Beer. The local cribbage club is holding their Christmas outing there. They seem to be a jolly bunch.

I get off the train in Carlton and take a wander up to the worst supermarket in Western Europe. The DJ is on flames at Carlton Tesco. They play a single release from Jalen Ngonda before unleashing 'Lady' (Hear Me Tonight) from Modjo, which has a few toes tapping down the wine and spirits aisle.

I'd pondered over whether to go to the early kick off at Pride Park where Leicester City are the visitors. The early start and inclement weather has put me right off. Radford FC, a club where I'm usually told to eff off at, on arrival, have an FA Vase 3rd round tie against Heather St Johns from Leicestershire (I won the raffle there once). Director of Football, Glenn Russell, confirms that the game is ON.

I arrive in Nottingham in plenty of time. Old Market Square is thriving as Christmas shoppers visit all the pop up shops. For some unknown reason I fancy a Five Guys burger. It's a costly error as it takes 30 minutes to make. I feel quite proud that I order on the computer thingy and add all my toppings without asking for assistance. I arrive at Radford's game ten minutes before kick off.

I stand with Big Glenn for the first 45 minutes. It's a disastrous opening few minutes. The 'keeper has to deal with an unnecessary backpass that he shanks out of a heavily sanded penalty area. The ball eventually falls to a Heather forward who curls in a shot from distance. They are 2-0 down soon after, having once again failed to clear their lines. They then concede a penalty in added time. I hide in the clubhouse at the break.

I stand with the Goulder brothers in the second half. They are big NFFC fans as well as following Notts CCC and Nottingham Panthers. Radford concede two late goals which slightly flatters the visitors. The Pheasants pay for a poor first half. I make a hasty exit before I'm run out of the ground by the Raddy Massive.

Attendance: 136

Man of the Match: Nat Watson

Best Record I've Heard This Week: Maybelline, Gretel

Real Ale of the Week: Mojo Risin' Birch Cottage, Sawley, at Partizan Tavern