Quorn FC 2 Stratford Town 1

FA Vase 4th round, both these teams play in the Midland Alliance, but it's Quorn who rip up the form book. True to form we get lost in the village, my fault again, and end up on millionaires row. Neecey immediately weighs up a painting and decorating contract. It's a beautiful village. We finally reach the ground at 2.30pm and they have already sold out of programmes. By 3.30pm much to Neecey's digust they are also out of pies and gravy. I think the Quorn committee have overlooked the postponement of Leicester City's game which has now put a few on the gate. The clubhouse is modern, I came here some years ago when Frank Clark sent a young Nottingham Forest side. The beer once again is disappointing no real ale or strong lager, "Guinness please Neecey"

Quorn was Prince Charles favourite hunt, another well known fact is that Luke Varney once played for Quorn FC, that shrewd judge Dario Gradi paid £50,000 for his services, but Quorn cleverly put a 20% sell-on clause in the contract and if the rumours are to be believed they should expect a bumper payout soon!

The Quorn keeper is under pressure from the start, and looks nervous, luckily for him ex Coventry City youth player Vijay Sidhu breaks the deadlock on 2 minutes with a deft lob over the Stratford keeper, while his defence fail miserably with the offside trap.

The linesman pulls a hamstring trying to keep up with Sidhu, who is replaced by the 4th official who turns out to be none other than Ian Richardson, the Notts County legend.

Stratford Town are truely woeful in the opening half and fall further behind with a 25 yard wonder strike from young Irishman Gavin O'Toole who also hails from the Coventry City youth ranks.

Shortly before half-time, Stratford's best player, forward Tony Robinson, reduces arrears after tiptoeing through the Quorn defence. 2-1. Quorn are strong, led by Robert Betts another ex Sky Blue, the right back is also impressive. Robinson has the miss of the season, this is reminiscent of Ronnie Rosenthal's howler for Liverpool at Villa Park some years ago. He leaves the defence for dead, rounds the keeper, but somehow contrives to hit the underside of the crossbar from 4 yards. He is inconsolable.

The second half is a scrappy affair, Stratford fail to expose the Quorn keeper's shortcomings. Robinson is still haunted by that miss and is well shackled by the Quorn 5 jacket. They are narrow, a matter that is not addressed quickly enough, although the left back pushes on later in the game. They create very little. Their manager Dennis Mullholland should feel confident in winning gold for England in whinging and whining, the referee feels the wrath of his tongue, his swearing is tiresome. As a finally throw of the dice he puts on his assistant manager Ian Mitchell 39 years of age to chase the game, this man's best days have clearly not been in this century, bless him. Another sub is tossed into the fray, name of Leon. He doesn't belong in this company and the young Quorn sub left winger beats him for fun with his rare touches.

It is Quorn who deservedly reach the last 16 with Retford Town being the only other East Midlands representative.

Quorn 2 Sidhu and O'Toole Stratford Town 1 Robinson

Man of the Match Vijay Sidhu, Quorn FC